How to Manipulate a Narcissist

Who is a narcissist? How do I learn how to manipulate a narcissist? Who is a narcissistic woman? Can I leave a narcissist? What are the weaknesses of a narcissist? If you are looking for answers to these and more questions, this article is for you.

My name is Sean Galla, and I have been an online support group facilitator for over ten years. In my years of experience, I have overseen numerous support groups and facilitated support groups for men with narcissistic partners. Part of the work we do in our support group is to offer information to help members better understand narcissism.

In this article, I will cover everything you need to know about how to manipulate a narcissist.

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Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.

Who is a Narcissistic Woman?

According to the APA (American Psychological Association), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a personality and mental health disorder characterized by an extreme sense of entitlement, grandiosity, a sense of importance, and an obsessive need for validation. Female narcissists possess some unique and identifiable traits.

Narcissistic personality disorder is more common in men, but there is a rising number of females who now display the disorder. Some people confuse a sociopath and a narcissist, but a narcissist only desires fame and recognition, unlike a sociopath who causes harm to people.

Narcissistic tendencies are not immediately apparent but appear later on in a relationship. Here are some of the signs of a narcissistic woman:

Everything is about her

For a female narc, everything is about her. She will talk about herself and her own needs all the time. If the conversation steers towards you, she will find a way to direct it back to herself. If you realize your life revolves around her, you have a narcissistic partner.

Sense of entitlement

A narcissistic woman’s ego misleads her to think everyone should do things for her, but they should not expect her to return the favor. If you find yourself constantly giving and never receiving, you are going through narcissistic abuse.


A narc woman is shallow, which manifests as a tendency to be materialistic. She is preoccupied with luxurious items and high-end brand names. She loves status symbols and associating with wealth and wealthy people. This trait may include the woman being overly concerned about their reputation, social status, what’s trending, and social media presence.

Emotional manipulation

Female narcissists use emotional manipulation to get their way. These narcissistic manipulation tactics include gaslighting, lying, shaming, and blame games. They carefully choose a romantic partner that they can manipulate.

Lack of empathy

A female narc is careful to put up a fake persona, pretending to feel empathy and sympathize with people in pain. However, lack of empathy is top on the list of narcissistic personality disorder traits.

Narcissists have no emotional intelligence and do not relate to other people’s feelings, and they will act cold and unfeeling unless it concerns them.

This article will tell you everything you need to know about how to live with a narcissist.


Can You Manipulate a Narcissist?

Did you know you can ethically beat the narcissists at their own game? It’s not taking revenge but letting them get their way and get what you want in the process. Narcs use various types of narcissistic manipulation tactics, such as:

  • Triangulation
  • Rage
  • Silent treatment
  • Shame
  • Mockery
  • Hoovering

When you manipulate a narcissist, you don’t use their tactics but instead use reverse psychology and ethical manipulation. Here is how to take control away from a narcissist

Compliment them

Narcissists have an innate desire for admiration and attention, making them overly sensitive to judgment and criticism. To ethically manipulate a narcissist, shower them with compliments, but don’t be too obvious with the praises, or they will see through you and become defensive. With their love for attention and validation, flattery is an effective manipulation tool as it makes them feel good about themselves.

Agree with them

Narcissistic people are arrogant and defensive. To avoid arguments, go along with them even though you disagree. This makes them feel intelligent and assertive while effectively silencing them.

Play on what they fear most

Narcissists fear public shame and humiliation, especially those with a real or imagined reputation to protect. They do their best to maintain a clean image to hide their insecurities and toxic relationships from the public eye.

You can manipulate a narcissist by playing on their intense fear of shame and humiliation. Tell them, “What if people find out how you treat me?” They cannot handle exposure and will automatically start acting nice.

Reward good behavior

When dealing with a narcissist, don’t continue entertaining them if they’re exploiting you. Make them work for any perks they receive. Don’t threaten to take their benefits away, which might trigger a negative reaction.

You take control of the relationship by controlling when to be nice to them. You can choose when and if to give them what they want. This helps balance your relationship where both parties give and take.

Gray rock technique

Narcissists rely on feeling unique or important. The gray rock technique is when you blandly respond to the narc until they lose interest.

How To Emotionally Disengage From a Narcissist

You can distance yourself from a narcissist by emotionally detaching. Follow these steps to make ending a relationship with a narcissist more tolerable.

Know it’s not your fault

You might be in a relationship with someone who has convinced you it’s your fault things are not working. They guilt-trip you every chance they get, making you lose your sense of self. To detach from this narc and their narcissistic behavior, you have to remind yourself this is emotional abuse and nothing is your fault.

Don’t react 

The narcissist enjoys the satisfaction of getting an emotional reaction. Stay calm and respond firmly and assertively. With time, you will detach yourself from the narcissist, and nothing they say can move you.

Stop communication

If it is still difficult to talk to a narc even after trying all the tips on how to talk to a narcissist, you should consider going no-contact and stop all communication. Block them on social media and your phone. If they physically show up, walk away, and refuse to engage them. The more attention they get, the better for them because it feeds their narcissistic supply. No matter how much they play the victim, ignore them until they leave.


Set boundaries

Set boundaries with a narc and tell them what you can and cannot tolerate. If they disrespect these boundaries, be firm and insist they must respect them, with a disclaimer, letting them know the consequences of disregarding your wishes.


If you are living with a narcissist and things have escalated to an intolerable level, plan your exit and leave. Assertively communicate that you have decided to end the narcissistic relationship. The narc may try to manipulate you by using narcissistic hoovering, which is a ploy to lure you back into the relationship. Stay strong, and do not get sucked back into the abusive cycle.

Keep yourself busy

Narcs expect you to drop everything for them and cater to all their demands. Narcs control you by isolating you from family members and friends. Isolation leads to the loss of your sense of self and giving up the things you love to make the narcissist happy.

 Go back to the things you love doing, like reading, meditation, exercise, baking, cooking, or whatever else that makes you happy. Spend time with your friends and loved ones, seek God if you are religious, and take care of yourself. With time, you will get your self-worth back, allowing you to detach and liberate yourself from the narc.

Weaknesses Of A Narcissist You Can  Exploit

Narcissists try to create a fake persona of strong and independent people. They have numerous weaknesses that you can exploit, such as:

Their love for attention

Narcissists are full of self-importance and love the limelight. At first, they are charming, and everybody loves them. Closer relations with them reveal their manipulative side and their indifference toward other people’s well-being. Ignoring the narcissist and refusing to acknowledge their existence is a blow to their ego.

Fear of abandonment

Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of abandonment. They love attention, so when you leave them, they fear they will lose their supply of admiration and attention. If you tell them you will leave them, they get scared and might act nice, even if it’s for a while.

About MensGroup Narcissist Support Group

Men’s Group is a men-only support group that offers resources and meetings to anyone dealing with a narcissistic woman. With the proper support, anyone can heal, grow, and change. We will place you in a group with other men who have been through narcissistic abuse and understand your situation.

This support group is a safe space to share and learn from others. With a great support system from other men, you can heal from your trauma and lead a healthy, successful, and happy life.

How to Manipulate a Narcissist: Conclusion

If the traits in this post describe your partner, they probably have NPD. Understand the NPD disorder and the manipulation tactics a narcissist uses. With this information, you can turn the situation around, exploit the narc’s weaknesses, and avoid their manipulation.

A group like Men’s Group offers you a space where you can share your story, inspire others, and get support for being a survivor of a narcissistic spouse. A support group provides a safe space where you meet compassionate people willing to guide you through the recovery process.