Are you looking for anger management for men support? Are you interested in learning anger management and mindfulness? Do you know of a loved one who can benefit from anger management help? Are you looking for information on anger management problems for men? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, you have come to the right place.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I am a facilitator of support groups and support forums, including anger management support groups for men, with more than 10 years’ experience. In my line of work, I have seen firsthand how important it is for men to learn how to manage their anger or channel negative feelings. Anger management for men is an excellent life skill as it gives men the push they need to become better people and adapt habits and mechanisms to control their anger and lead better lives.
In this article, you will find all the information you need about anger management for men and why it is highly recommended for anyone interested in personal growth.
Table of Contents:
What is Anger?
Anger is a type of emotion that manifests in both men and women. This emotion makes it possible for humans to tell when they are under attack or fall victim to unfairness. Through this feeling, a person can defend themselves or respond assertively to speak against mistreatment or unfairness.
When structured and controlled, anger can be a helpful emotion to have. However, it can get out of control in some cases, thus requiring anger management tactics. It is important to note that there is a difference between controlling anger and suppressing it. When anger is controlled, it is possible to express it constructively, while suppressed anger can often lead to physical health issues, interpersonal issues, mental health issues, and substance abuse disorders. When anger is not managed, it is expressed in the form of violence and aggression.
What is Anger Management?
Anger management is a term used to refer to a series of exercises and techniques designed to help individuals gain control of their rage or anger. Even though releasing anger is healthy, an uncontrolled release like fisting in walls, throwing things around, or even hitting people and self-harm are signs of anger management issues. Uncontrolled anger causes rifts in families, health issues, legal problems, and even difficulties at work.
Compared to women, men are at a higher risk of expressing uncontrolled anger as they mostly transform all uncomfortable feelings into anger. This is why anger management for men is important.
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Men with Anger Issues
It is normal for people, including men, to experience anger. However, anger is scary, unwanted, and uncomfortable for some men while it is a normal part of other men’s lives. Sometimes, it can be said that a man has an angry personality.
Men are said to be angrier than women because men use anger to express any uncomfortable or unwanted feelings. Anger issues are common in men who experienced adverse childhoods, have poor interpersonal functioning, have adult trauma and men suffering from substance dependency disorders. Covering up issues with anger is often a defense tactic to cover up deeper vulnerabilities.
Men’s anger issues are used to mask other feelings that make them vulnerable. This includes:
One of the most common experiences of emasculation is performance anxiety or other observed inadequacies when it comes to sexual performance. Emasculation also occurs when a man feels inferior to other men when he is unable to fulfill his expectations or duties as a man. This feeling of being “less than” causes men to act out in anger.
Even though men experience all emotions and variations, socialization has led to greater acceptance of men expressing anger. When a man is afraid, he often expresses it as anger. This is because expressing fear is often seen as a sign of weakness, while society rewards outward expression of anger by making it seem powerful.
When men are unable to express true emotions, it impacts their mental wellness, even when men try to deny it. When the feeling of fear becomes overwhelming, it comes out in anger.
Guilt and Shame
Guilt is an ideal feeling where a person feels genuine remorse for wrongdoing and goes hand in hand with shame. Given the intensity of this emotion associated with one being a bad person, men prefer to ignore their feelings of guilt and shame. This is replaced by anger from wanting to defend their honor.
Most men believe that the feeling of sadness makes them vulnerable. This belief is deep-rooted in some communities, where men expressing sadness is punishable with torture and sometimes death. The society also plays an integral role in forcing men to suppress their sadness. In some relationships, the man is expected to always show strength, even in the most difficult events. The show of sadness is often poorly received. With so much to lose, men display an outward expression of anger when they are sad.
Envy and Jealousy
Envy is a feeling you get when you want what other people have but you can’t. On the other hand, jealousy is a constant worry that someone else is always getting what you deserve. These two feelings leave one feeling inadequate, which is negative and intimidating for men. Because publicly acknowledging these feelings comes with great risk to one’s ego, men result in expressing anger.
loneliness is a negative emotion with negative impacts on a man’s well-being. Human beings are not meant to exist in isolation. Loneliness is more common among men than women because most men do not know how to make or keep friends. Loneliness can lead to negative thoughts as emotions become increasingly unstable and volatile for a lonely man. When a man is lonely, they can develop anger toward others and take it out spontaneously or with intent.
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The Impact of Anger Issues on Men
Having uncontrollable anger can cause a lot of issues in a man’s life. some potential impacts of anger issues include:
- Acts of domestic violence (physical, verbal, sexual, emotional abuse, or neglect)
- Physical altercations that require hospitalization, cause disability, or cause murder
- Loss of relationships and friendships
- Employment termination
- Physical harm to self
- Being someone others are reluctant to be around
- Destruction of property
- legal issues
- Health issues (high blood pressure, depression, etc.)
Anger issues can also be harmful to the people around an angry man. Being around a husband or father with anger issues can leave the partner or children with fear, depression, and even self-esteem issues. This can cause them to respond to these issues with anger, which causes a cycle in the family.
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Types of Anger Issues Affecting Men
While most people think of full-blown fistfights and raised voices when they hear someone has anger issues, sometimes uncontrollable anger issues can be expressed in other ways. The American Addiction Centers identifies six common ways angry people express anger that can indicate the need for anger management help.
- Chronic anger – prolonged anger that impacts the immune system and causes mental disorders
- Passive anger – anger expressed passive-aggressively and can be difficult to identify
- Overwhelmed anger – anger caused by life demands that become too much to cope with
- Self-inflicted anger – anger directed toward the self often caused by feelings of guilt
- Judgmental anger – anger directed toward others and includes resentment
- Volatile anger – anger involving spontaneous bouts of violence
Anger Management Strategies for Men
Once a man identifies the possibility of having anger management issues, they can take steps to become better at controlling their anger. Anger management takes time and patience. Sometimes, very serious anger issues may require the intervention of anger management experts.
Helpful anger management techniques include:
- Talking about it with a trusted person
- Staying away from common triggers
- Leaving a situation when you get angry feelings
- Learning emotional intelligence for men
- Engaging in relaxation techniques like meditation or visualization
- Reading self-help books on anger management for men
- Listening to feel-good music
- Journaling about underlying emotions or experiences that cause anger
- Avoiding drugs and alcohol if these cause feelings of anger
- Speaking with a mental health professional
- Taking an anger management class to find the root cause of your anger issues
- Joining a support group
Men’s Group Anger Management Support Group
An anger management group is any support group that offers emotional support and anger management help to anyone struggling with anger issues. Anger management groups help those who struggle with anger by helping them adopt a healthy way of expressing it. This helps them gain more insight into their automatic thoughts and responses, underlying assumptions, core beliefs, cognitive distortions that may contribute to their anger outbursts.
Men’s Group is a self-improvement community for guys dealing with different life issues, including anger management. The group creates and facilitates conversations between guys who are interested in personal growth.
We create discussions and friendships that help guys grow around topics like rage and anger through our thriving forums, drop-in groups, and online men’s groups. The guys also enjoy the social time with the guys as well. if you want to learn how to take control of your emotions, gain self-confidence, learn self-control, and effective problem solving, you should join a support group.
There are numerous benefits to learning how to control your anger as a man. If you are looking for anger management for men’s help, MensGroup is one of the best options today. As an online-based self-help group, you can be sure that there is an active meeting or forum at all times.
*Sources: 1. Controlling anger before it controls you 2. Men & Anger 3. Men's anger: A phenomenological exploration of its meaning in a middle class sample of American men 4. Unmasking men and anger 5. Mindfulness Training Can Benefit Anger Management in Men