How To Be The Man: The Ultimate Guide on How To Be a Better Man

Are you looking for tips on how to be the man? Do you want to be the man other men look up to? Do you want to be the man women find irresistible? Are you looking for guidance on how to be the man in the relationship? Do you want to become a better man? If your answer is yes to these questions, this article has the answers you seek.

Hi. My name is Sean Galla, a men’s group facilitator for more than ten years. My work involves creating men-only communities where every man can come for guidance and support as they learn to be a man. If you are a man interested in self-improvement and looking for tips on how to be the man, this article will equip you with the information you need to lead a happy, healthier life as you become a better man.

Here is everything you need to know about how to be the man.

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Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.

Who Is The Man?

How To Be The Man

‘The Man’ is a slang commonly used to mean someone or authority in a position of power. It is also a term used to show respect or praise. From a social standpoint, the man can be termed a male who knows who they are and is not afraid to show it. The term can describe a man who is waking and sure of himself and what he stands for. A man is comfortable in his masculinity and is not afraid of going for what he wants.

If you are looking for guidance on becoming the man, this article has all the information you need.

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Why Is It Hard for Men to Be ‘The Man’?

To become a good man in dating life or life in general, one needs to become a mature version of the young man. Generally, anything that is not developed does not grow. Being the man goes far beyond learning to maintain eye contact or developing an attractive physique. To be the man, you need to build your psychological, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual self.

Part of being an alpha male involves shedding toxic masculinity traits.

In recent years, toxic masculinity has become a common term amongst young people in social media, podcasts, and printed books. A study published in the journal of the school of psychology defined toxic masculinity as a ‘’constellation of socially regressive and macho traits that encourage domination, homophobia, devaluation of women, and wanton violence and masculine norms.’’

The three core components of toxic masculinity include:

Antifeminity is an idea that real men reject anything feminine, including showing emotions or asking for help.

Toughness is a flawed belief that manliness is being emotionally unavailable, physically strong, and aggressive to be accepted as a man.

Power is often assumed that a real man should be powerful or g high societal standing to gain respect from others.

Traditional masculinity and Toxic masculinity have long emphasized the adaptation and glorification of unhealthy habits, including gender inequality. The concept of toxic masculinity is centered on the belief that the ideal man is a machine that has to work hard and dominate even through body language. This is why people are quick to use the ‘man up’ or ‘be a man’ phrases whenever someone behaves in a way deemed unacceptable for men.

The American psychological association notes that toxic masculinity glorifies unhealthy behavior by the modern man, including sexual violence perpetrated against women through aggression and dominance. Toxic masculinity also prevents men from seeking mental health treatment for substance abuse, depression, and other health problems.

Toxic masculinity believes that manliness can only be expressed in homophobia, sexual harassment, sexual assault, domination, and aggression. It is flawed that men should not show emotions, let alone have feelings, which is often harmful to their mental health.

Overemphasis on these masculine ideals can cause a harmful imbalance in real life, as men try to live up to these traits. Some masculinities imbalances include aggression, entitlement, sexual aggression or control, chauvinism, and sexism, showing no emotion or suppressing emotions, hyper-competitiveness, need to dominate or control others, an inclination towards violence, or glorification of violence, isolation, and lack of socialization skills, and low empathy.

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How to Be a Better Man

How to Be a Better Man

Shed off your toxic masculinity traits

If you possess any toxic masculinity traits, part of learning how to be the man in today’s world involves acknowledging these traits and working to eliminate them. In the real world, masculinity is not necessarily a bad thing. Healthy masculinity is all about strength, gender equality, and compassion. Some attributes associated with healthy masculinity include emotional awareness, presence, grounding, self-love, compassion, and emotional release.

Self-love, focusing on personal development, and compassion are essential pillars for healthy masculinity and becoming a nice guy. Very few men know how to love themselves and have compassion for themselves. When you learn to love yourself, you find it easier to be a present, grounded, muscular man in tune with your emotions. Self-love also makes it easier to understand who you are away from what society has taught you.

A big part of being a better man is remaining stable and rooted in your beliefs. When you are well-grounded, you have overflowing self-love and confidence that helps you stay aware of your true self. When you are grounded, you are not swayed by other men’s way of thinking or acting. Grounding has also been associated with better men’s health.

Examine your habits and make changes

To become a better man and role model, you must let go of the bad habits and replace them with healthy habits. This can include getting into shape, fighting addictions, choosing to become healthier, becoming a better team player, and putting in the hard work to become the successful man you want to be.

By shedding off your bad habits, you allow yourself to live a more purpose-driven life, which goes a long way in making you a better man.

Confront your fears

To become the man you have always wanted to be, you need to confront your fears. You need to admit your fears and allow yourself to move past them. To be the man, you have to let yourself be vulnerable as you fight your fears. Have the courage to do the things that once scared you whenever the situation calls for it.

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Practice resilience

As the man, you need to be reliable and flexible with the drive to start all over again if you have to. Real men remain resilient even when faced with adversity in their own lives. As a real man, you must learn to accept your fate and be willing to rise from the ashes instead of wallowing in your sadness all the time.

Speak, listen and live from your heart

To become a better man or human being, you must be willing to make your intentions and feelings known. Real men are not afraid to show emotion, be gentle or be sad. They understand that this is part of being humans and are not scared to be in touch with their feelings or expressing them. You must have the courage to live your dream and have room to listen with compassion when needed.

Own your anger

When you take charge of your emotions, you learn how to tame your anger. A real man can turn his rage into masculine compassion. He knows how to channel his anger healthily.

Be open to learning from others

Part of being a good man is falling in love with your journey and personal development. You also learn how to listen and learn from others without shrinking yourself to make others less insecure around you.

It would help if you were in touch with your strengths and weakness without shame of either. Listening and learning from others who have walked your path gives you the knowledge of the areas in your life that need improvement and how to improve.

Join a support group

Join a support group

One of the best ways to become a better man is by joining a men’s support group. A men’s support group is a safe space for men to be around other men as they learn from one another about life, sharing, and becoming better men.

MensGroup is one of the best men’s support groups where men come to be around other men, make friends and learn from one another even as they try to make sense of life.

About Men’s Group

Men’s Group is a self-improvement community for guys. We create and facilitate conversations between guys interested in personal growth. We make discussions and friendships through our thriving forums, drop-in groups, and online men’s groups that help guys grow and give them the social time they want.

MensGroup is an online-based support group and forum that focuses on men and the needs of men. It offers a platform where men from different parts of the world can come together to discuss everyday issues that affect men.


Joining a men’s group is the best way to get the support you need as you try to redefine yourself and become a better man.

The best groups offer safe spaces where men bond and foster friendships with fellow men going through similar issues. In MensGroup, you will be amongst your peers who provide support and accountability to ensure you are consistent in your growth as a cheerful masculine man.

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