Do you need a best friend? Do you want to learn how to make a friend be your best friend? Do you want to become a better friend and make a close friend? Are you a guy who finds it hard to make friends, especially a BFF best friend? Do you need new best friends who are not your co-workers? Are you looking for the best friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article would be of great help.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla, a facilitator for friends groups like men support groups, men’s forums, and men’s groups. In my line of work, I oversee a platform where men can meet other men in a safe environment that allows them to nurture platonic friendships and even meet their best friends.
I have seen firsthand how important it is for every man to have a best friend. If you are interested in understanding new friendships, this article is for you.
In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about getting out of your comfort zone to make a best friend and why it is important.
Table of Contents:
Why Is Making a Best Friend So Difficult?
As an adult man, the thought of meeting new people to be just friends with may sound awkward and sometimes impossible. At the same time, having meaningful relationships outside of your work, romantic relationship, or family often leads to positive outcomes.
Connecting with friends, be it on social media or in-person for small talk, or spending time with other men you have interests in common in what is often referred to as Bromance, is not a bad thing. It can actually be good for your body, mind, and soul.
Men often forget that they need to feel connected to others as a human evolutionary need for survival. In the modern-day, while humans may not be hunting for food, they still hunt for success as a modern expression of the hunting instinct. When you are connected with people who want to see you succeed through hard work, you can lead a more successful life.
Human beings are social creatures, from the time they are a year old to old age. Even the most introverted people thrive when they have a platonic best friend to share and spend time with. As one transitions from adolescence to adulthood, making and keeping friends becomes a challenge.
Some of the factors that make it hard to make new friends as an adult include:
The average adult male spends at least 40 hours a week working while spending at least 50 hours sleep. Out of the 168 hours available in a week, the rest is spent on personal projects, with family, or in traffic if you live in a busy town. This makes it hard to make time to socialize, let alone making a best friend.
As an adult, it is natural for you to take on more family responsibilities. You need to maintain a job, a relationship with your spouse, and care for your kids, if any. As you grow older, parents require to be cared for by their adult children. With all these responsibilities, a man barely has time for himself, which means there is no time to meet new people and make friends.
Lack of supportive environments
For most people, high school and college presented the best places to make friends and keep them. This is because, as a student, you spend a lot of time in a day with the same people, five days a week. This creates a perfect structured environment to choose your circle of friends and vice versa.
As an adult, you do not get a structured environment that allows you to meet people and make friends outside your work. While it is possible to form friendships at work, it does not come as naturally as it did in school.
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Why You Need a Best Friend?
Loneliness is one of the greatest threats to men’s health. Most men have a hard time admitting that they are lonely or need more male friends because growing up, most men were never taught the importance of having a close group of male friends. According to scientific research, loneliness can trigger wring signals, hormones, and molecules that dictate human behavior, lasting effects on men’s mental health.
Emotional isolation is one of the leading causes of smoking, diabetes, obesity, Alzheimer’s, heart disease, high blood pressure, tumors, and other neurodegenerative behaviors.
A best friend is a stress buster.
Having a best friend or platonic companion you can share with is one of the best ways to lower stress. According to studies, having a male best friend when stressed can significantly reduce cortisol levels, a stress hormone. Friends are good for a man’s mental health, and this is no different got people in a Bromance.
You can be yourself around your best friend.
Generally, society expects men always to act as if they are fine, even when they are not. Part of having a best friend is to be able to be yourself in the company of a fellow man.
You are allowed to be vulnerable and show emotions. A great friendship makes you feel free to speak your mind and share your stresses without feeling as if you are less of a man for doing so. Having a best friend who is a good listener boosts your self-esteem, which is good for your mental health.
You get a friend who is not your romantic partner.
No matter how close you are with your spouse in your romantic relationships, there is a level of emotional closeness and vulnerability you are unable to reach. Having a great friend allows you to explore the depths of emotional attachments and vulnerability in a safe space. Most men feel emotionally closer to their male friends, which is what all meaningful relationships should be.
A best friend can boost your brainpower.
As you grow older, it becomes more important than before to have a close circle of good friends. According to studies, cognitive decline is slower in men who make new friendships and sustain old ones. Seniors with close friendships or a bestie are less likely to develop dementia and other mental health complications related to old age.
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How to Make a Best Friend?
Encourage and listen.
When you open up freely to your best friend, it is easy to be carried away and make a one-sided friendship. As a true friend, it is important to practice active listening to make people more open t sharing with you.
A genuine close friendship should be built on mutual support while taking time to understand and offer a solution whenever you get together.
Show willingness to open up.
One of the reasons you probably have a hard time making friends that become best friends is that you were unwilling to open yourself up. You can only bond with other people if there is a connection, mostly shared ideas or new experiences.
Going beyond small talk can be scary. However, once you allow yourself to be open about your deepest thoughts and feelings, you allow other men to do the same around you, which is what a real friendship is built on.
Be open to sharing a platonic touch.
Physical contact, including maintaining eye contact or hugging, is one of the most difficult topics and things to do, especially amongst straight men.
Most men are subconsciously afraid of physical contact with other men because they have been conditioned to relate physical touch to romance or sexual connections.
Developing a platonic touch with your new best friend strengthens your bond and makes you feel good and comfortable around your friends.
Share in new experiences.
If you want to build a lasting friendship between you and your new best friend, you need to have shared interests.
Whether it is hiking, watching sports, playing video games, or just spending time in a circle talking and having a beer, you need to find things you have in common with your new friends.
Be proactive in maintaining the friendship.
Most men lose their best friends because they fail to participate in maintaining their friendship actively. For a new friendship to last, you need to make an effort to meet face-to-face and connect with good friends.
Join the best friends groups.
Sometimes, the easiest way to make a best friend is by joining a friends group on social media or online. Joining a men’s group like mensgroup.com for the first time ensures you build friendships that meet your needs from the start.
Friends groups ensure you meet like-minded men who share your interests, ideas, and plans.
About Men’s Group
Men’s Group is a men’s support group where men can acquire skills by learning how to remain dedicated and disciplined.
This is a space where young men can harness their full potential through learning leadership, emotional intelligence, integrity, and accountability. It is also the perfect place to meet new people and make new friends.
Since it is an online-based male friends group, you can join a meeting from the comfort of your home or office. Mensgroup ensures regular meetings online to ensure men can get the support they need at any time, whether in New York or London, especially after the pandemic last year.
If you are interested in making a best friend, it is time to use your social skills to cultivate the friendship and make it what you want it to be.
Attending meetups on mensgroup.com increase your chances of making new friends and meeting a new best friend. Mensgroup is one of the best places to make male friends with whom you share common interests, goals, and ideas.
*Sources: 1. This Is How To Make Close Friends: 4 Surprising Secrets From Research 2. Why Having a Best Friend Is Good for Your Health 3. 6 Reasons Why Friends Are Important 4. Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health 5. 13 Scientific Facts About Friendship That Will Put A Smile On Your Face