Are you caught in the toxic masculinity cycle? Are you wondering what it really means to be a man? Are you a man in need of help to overcome your trauma and things holding you back from exploring your full potential? Are you interested in men’s work? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article is for you.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla, a men’s group facilitator for more than 10 years. In my line of work, I focus on helping men to overcome societal pressures of what a man should be and help them become better men, fathers, sons, and husbands.
Until men shed the persona formatted by society and come into contact with their true selves, they cannot be able to lead a totally fulfilling life. If you are looking for an outlet for all your bottled-up emotions or space where you can be allowed to be yourself as a man as you explore everything you are all about, joining a men’s group like mensgroup.com is the way to go.
In this article, I will explore different aspects that influence male development and how to overcome this conditioning to living a complete life.
Table of Contents:
What Is Men’s Work?
For many generations, it has been natural for men to come together in groups, teams, armies, organizations, task groups, leagues, and clubs. This is a way of bringing men with a common interest to be amongst other men and share decision-making, stories, and advice. Ritual groups and therapy sessions are social types of these gatherings.
In the 1980s, the men’s movements picked up steam after the women’s movement. Men met in the woods for Wildman gatherings while men’s centers offered counseling and growth work for men. These groups operated as containers for men in need of a safe space where they could speak freely about what is going on in their lives and a place where they are open about individual experiences.
In these groups, men were taught about manhood and the man’s soul. This is where men’s groups sprouted from. In men’s groups, men get to learn about men’s work.
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Why Is Men’s Work Important?
Men’s work refers to an opportunity taught to men on how to address their personal issues, shame, fear, sexuality, fathering, mortality and anger. Through men’s work, men get to shed toxic masculinity and ideas of what a man should be and instead learn what a man is. Men’s work gives men a chance to reconnect with their true selves away from societal expectations that have continued to influence their way of being and thinking.
Process work includes emotional expression, shadow work, and other creative interventions.
When growing up, men see other men as competition. This makes it hard for men to successfully build strong support networks, making it hard to develop their interactive skills. To navigate the world, everyone needs a certain level of emotional intelligence and collaboration skills. For most men, these are skills they only learn in adulthood for lack of role models to teach them as kids.
Without the proper role models growing up, men undergo an identity crisis where they do not get enough room to explore who they are and are instead expected to fill shoes created for them by society. Society expects men to be fearless, emotionless, and nothing short of a superhero. They are looked up to lead families, provide and still hold it together 24/7. This kind of pressure causes lifelong trauma, and trauma calls for a coping mechanism.
When men bend to pressure, it leads to unhealthy habits like addiction and harmful behavior to cope with all these expectations of being a man by friends, family, and society.
Men’s work is offered to help men crawl out of this hole of expectations and toxic masculinity by offering a safe way of addressing lifelong trauma and shedding off these societal expectations. It is through men’s work that men can truly meet their true selves. Men’s groups like mensgroup.com or The Mankind Project offer men’s work as part of the healing journey. These groups offer a supportive, safe and free space where men can come to learn, share and get help to overcome lifelong trauma caused by societal conditioning.
It is only through men’s work that men can truly enjoy a liberated, free, and fulfilling life. Through men’s work, men learn how to be positive role models to their sons and young men looking up to them. It is here that men learn how to break the trauma cycle to make an impactful change for future generations.
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What Men Learn in Men’s Work
Through men’s work, men’s groups explore every aspect of what it means to be a man.
Dealing with trauma
Humans suffer in many different ways. Most of this trauma lies in our subconscious due to individual upbringing. For men, lack of a proper role model when growing up can be the cause of trauma. Most men walk around with trauma without talking about it, as it seems unmanly to express themselves. Therefore, men go about life sucking-up their emotions and thoughts, further worsening their trauma.
In fact, society’s mark of a real man is a man who is tough, heroic, and brave enough to handle anything thrown at them, including traumatic experiences. When a traumatized man decides to suffer alone, he is given a badge of honor as the man.
No matter how strong a man thinks he is, trauma will have a toll on their humanity and soul. Trauma invades the mind, dictates your reactions and emotions, and even affects your physical self. This emotional tumor can only be extracted through active sharing and learning, which means a man must first acknowledge it.
Men’s work works to help men overcome the trauma they live with by encouraging them to put in the work to find healing. Men’s work encourages men to talk about their thoughts, issues, stresses and expressing the feelings they hide from the world if they want to overcome their trauma.
Men’s groups also offer support to men through other different ways, including:
- Helping men to clarify their direction and purpose
- Strengthening their integrity
- Teaching men how to become more trustworthy
- Teaching men how to be clear and grounded
- Training men on how to be strong and consistent
- Teaching men what it means to be at their edge and be held accountable
- Find peace, inwardly and outwardly
Men’s work is an opportunity for men, and society in general, to start having honest conversations about trauma and how it affects men. Men’s work is also an opportunity to teach men, young and old, what fit and healthy masculinity are all about. This is the only way to stop setting up the next generations of men to fail.
The most pervasive and pernicious trauma for the male is learning and living out negative lessons about manhood. The trauma can be ended if boys are raised in a way that allows them to remain connected to their hearts while teaching them how to connect with others in ways that are beyond sexual encounters. This is what men’s work is all about.
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Consequences of unaddressed trauma
More often than not, there is news about men’s bad and tragic behavior, including shootings, suicides, domestic violence, criminal behavior, sexual aggression, and addiction. All these habits are assumed part of the unruly behavior by rebelling men. Trauma is the underlying cause of these unruly behaviors by men. When not addressed, men turn to familiar vices that make them feel like they belong while making it easier for them to drown their pain.
Today, many men can be terms as the walking wounded as they covertly suffer from mental health issues like depression and anxiety imprisoned in addiction. These men act out their pain, trauma, and mood swings on others because hurt people end up hurting others. Most victims of suicide are men who seemed like they have it all together. These men lacked a safe place to talk about their mental struggles, feelings, and vulnerabilities.
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How to Start Your Men’s Work Journey at mensgroup.com
If you are interested in starting your journey towards healing and becoming a better man, the first step you need to take is to join a men’s group. These are social self-help groups for men by men, where you get to learn everything about positive masculinity and shedding odd your toxic traits.
Mensgroup.com is an online-based support group for men that includes men’s work as part of their service delivery. As an online group, it means that you can join a meeting from anywhere without the long commutes to physical meeting locations. Online groups are also ideal for men who want to work on themselves discretely, as they offer anonymity to members.
You can visit Men’s Group to register and join an ideal support group for your men’s work needs.
Men’s work today can help males in pursuing their full humanity without sacrificing their masculinity. Through men’s work, men can end the insidious and deadly killer of their spiritual and emotional life, which is silence and isolation. Through men’s groups like mensgroup.com, men are able to speak their hearts as they enjoy being part of a recovering community.
*Sources: 1. Past trauma may haunt your future health 2. Treating Male Trauma 3. Working With Men Survivors of Trauma and Abuse 4. Implementation and effectiveness of integrated trauma and addiction treatment for incarcerated men 5. How Gender-Informed Treatment Helps Men Recover from Trauma