What are the traits of a narcissist woman? How does a female narcissist act? How can you tell if she is a narc? Can one successfully date a narc woman? If you are looking for answers to these and more questions about narcissistic women, this article is for you.

My name is Sean Galla, an online support group facilitator for more than 10 years. I have overseen numerous support groups that focus on issues affecting men, including dating narcissistic women. In my line of work, I have seen how having a narcissistic girlfriend can affect a man’s life and how important it is for men to have a place where they can share and get help for their experiences.

If you suspect that a woman in your life is a narcissist, this article has all the information you need to help confirm your suspicion and learn how to handle a narcissistic woman.

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Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.

Traits of A Narcissist Woman – What is narcissism

Whenever you hear the term narcissist on social media or in your day-to-day life, you probably form a mental image of a person obsessed with their physical appearance and self-absorbed with a narcissistic supply that never runs dry.

However, NPD or narcissistic personality disorder is a borderline personality disorder that encompasses much more superficial than what you see. A narcissist is also commonly confused for a psychopath, though most psychopaths are narcissists.

Because of the common misconception of narcissism, it can sometimes be challenging to spot traits of narcissism, especially in a loved one.

Whether it is a co-worker, family member, friend, narcissistic partner, or even a narcissistic wife, being in a relationship with a woman showing signs of a female narcissist can be heartbreaking and toxic.

Is my girlfriend a narcissist? When dating a female narcissist, they can easily wreak havoc in your life using different manipulative tactics to get away with it. Trying to reason with them seems futile, especially if the person is unwilling to accept that they have a problem.

According to the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-5), the warning signs of NPD include an overly extended sense of self-worth and grandiosity. People with these narcissistic tendencies have an unquenchable need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and have a hard time forming healthy relationships. Contrary to popular belief, narcissistic people do not have high self-esteem, but quite the opposite.

The narcissistic traits displayed by a male narcissist or female narc are usually a mask to cover up their low self-esteem. A little poking into their vulnerabilities can significantly fracture their ego, commonly referred to as a narcissistic injury.

If you cause this injury, the narcissist will go to extra lengths to ensure you pay. They can use different forms of narcissistic behaviors to retaliate, including gaslighting, using silent treatment, projecting, withholding finances, shifting blame, and rage, among other forms of physical, mental and emotional abuse to try and devalue you.

For one to be diagnosed with NPD, they have to exhibit at least five of the following common traits:

  • Believing they are unique and can only be understood by similarly special people
  • Need for praise and admiration
  • Exploiting others for personal gain
  • Grandiosity and an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Obsession with fantasies of success and power
  • Jealousy, envy, distrust
  • They are self-centered
  • Sense of entitlement
  • They lack empathy
  • Arrogance

How can traits of a narcissist woman be diagnosed? A narcissistic personality disorder can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional like a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Since most narcissists do not seek help, a lot of people go through life exhibiting the signs without a diagnosis. This causes many issues in their personal lives and that of their partners.

Even if a woman in your life has not been clinically diagnosed with NPD, they can exhibit other behavior and patterns in your relationship that may signify that they are narcissistic or a sociopath. Here are telltale red flags of female narcissism.


Traits of a narcissist Woman

They derive pleasure from others pain

The most common quality of narcissistic females is their tendency to draw pleasure from other people’s feelings of pain. They seem happy when their victims look shocked, crestfallen, and offended. She suffers from a lack of empathy and gives shallow responses or no concern for emotional matters affecting their victim.

They are overly competitive

A narcissist loves turning a relationship into a competition. When dating a covert narcissist, you will never have a healthy relationship since they sabotage communication, never accept they are wrong, and use put-downs and blame shifting to manipulate you into their way of thinking and seeing things.

Gaslighting and mental health abuse

Gaslighting and guilt tripping are common methods used by narcissists to deceive and question a person’s idea of reality. When a narc woman is gaslighting you, they focus on gaining power in the relationship by making you question your beliefs and thoughts. Being in a relationship with this person makes you feel insecure, forcing you to always be the one apologizing for their mistakes.

They always want to control the conversation

In a healthy relationship, both parties have the liberty to guide conversations, offer solutions and freely express themselves through communication. When dating a person exhibiting covert narcissism, every conversation becomes about themselves as this brings attention to them.

Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?

On paper, a narcissist is the ideal love partner. They seem to have their money, success, career, and personal life in check. They seem self-assured and do not need validation, which lures most men into a new relationship with them.

When you date a narcissistic woman, your day-to-day life will be characterized by feelings of loneliness and sadness, where you have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid setting them off. You are always trying to ensure you say the right things not to anger them, and everything feels like a trigger.

To thrive in a relationship with a narcissistic girlfriend, you must know how to deal with them.

How to deal with a narcissistic woman

Set boundaries

This is a non-negotiable when dealing with a woman living with narcissistic personality disorder, whether it is a narcissistic mother, sister or lover.

When dating a female exhibiting traits of a narcissist woman, you need to set clear boundaries. These boundaries should convey your values and beliefs in your relationship and tell the narcissist that you are not falling for their tricks. You may need to constantly reestablish your boundaries since your partner will always try to push back.

State your expectations

Let your partner know your expectations in the relationship and the consequences of not meeting them. Let them know what you are unwilling to compromise or tolerate and the grounds for a breakup. They should be able to honor your needs without feeling threatened or resulting in manipulation.

Learn to take personal time away from her

Personal time is important in a healthy relationship and the well-being of the people involved. It is even more important when dating a lady showing traits of a narcissist woman. Whenever you notice they are acting up, you can protect yourself from the situation by stepping away for personal time. This includes having other interests and friendships away from your relationship that will prevent you from being codependent on your partner. 


Leaving a narcissistic woman

Most of the time, romantic relationships with someone showing traits of a narcissist woman do not work. If you are not sure about when to break up with a narcissistic woman, some of the signs can include:

  • Refusal to get professional help, mental health assistance or special treatment from a psychotherapist
  • Refusal to seek relationship counseling
  • Disrespecting for your boundaries
  • They make everything your fault
  • You are unable to effectively communicate your feelings
  • You feel underappreciated and undervalued
  • You feel emotionally disconnected
  • Your self-esteem and self-image start to suffer
  • Your mental health is deteriorating
  • Your partner becomes emotionally, financially, physically, and/or sexually abusive.

Once you are sure about leaving a narcissistic relationship, they may result in love bombing and self-pity as a toxic way of trying to convince you that you are their soulmate. To ensure you do not fall back into the same patterns, it is advisable to leave the relationship fast.

Take time to reconnect with the friend and family member the narcissist isolates you from, as this will help you in the healing journey.

Join a support group

Most men dating narcissistic women do not seek help because they think that no one will understand. Most domestic violence victims of narcissism are hardly believed because narcissists display their best features in public and to family members. They often con other people with their charming personality that projects kindness, perfection, honesty, and superiority. This makes it hard for a victim to find people who can believe their experience. 

In a narcissist support group like MensGroup, you will be in the presence of other people who have gone through similar trauma. This is one of the best places to speak up, be heard, and be believed. You will meet with other victims of narcissistic exes who are willing to walk with you and help you find healing.

About MensGroup


MensGroup is a men-only support forum that offers resources and meetings to anyone dating a narcissistic girlfriend. With the right support, anyone can heal, grow, and change. You will be placed in a group with other men who have been through narcissistic abuse and understand your situation. This gives you a free space to share and learn from others who have previously walked in your shoes. With a support system of fellow men, you can overcome your trauma and lead a healthy, successful, and happy life.

Traits of Narcissist woman – Conclusion

It is often said that a problem shared is a problem solved. Having a place you can freely talk about your experience as a man dating a narcissist is the first step to healing. A group like Mensgroup.com offers you a platform where you can share your story to inspire others and get support to overcome the trauma of being a victim of narcissistic spouses. A support group offers you a safe space where you meet compassionate people who are willing and ready to guide you through the recovery process.