Where can I find divorce recovery advice? How do you know it’s time to recover from a divorce? Do you ever really heal from divorce? Does divorce pain ever go away? How do I recover from divorce emotionally? How do you recover from a divorce? How do I get over a divorce? What are some ways to cope with the pain of divorce? If you are looking for answers to these and more questions, this article is for you.
Hallo. My name is Sean Galla, and I am a facilitator for online support groups for men, including divorce recovery groups. My work involves creating safe spaces where men can come together to share, learn and talk about different issues that affect men, including divorce and recovering from divorce.
For more than 11 years, I have worked with men and know firsthand how divorce can affect their lives and why having a support system is vital through the divorce recovery journey. In this article, I will answer all your questions about recovering from divorce and give tips and helpful advice on navigating life after divorce.
Table of Contents:
The Different Stages of Divorce Recovery
According to experts, most people get into marital counseling at least 6 years too late. This increases the chances of the marital counseling failing to save the marriage, which leads to the inevitable divorce.
Whether or not you are the one who initiated the divorce that marked the end of your marriage, recovering from divorce is a process that goes through different stages and affects people differently. Soon after a divorce is finalized, it is normal for new divorcees to seek out different recovery options, including reading books on divorce, going for counseling, joining support groups, and even diving right back into the dating pool. However, without fully understanding how divorce recovery takes place, it’s easy to continuously feel stuck even after actively trying to move past the experience.
Divorce leaves a wound, regardless of the circumstances revolving around it. It is normal to feel heartbroken and at a loss since you are going through the loss of something that was once important to you. You will struggle with anger, shock, fear, and even guilt since the future you envisioned when you married has been shattered. Divorce is one of the worst crises anyone can go through, so it is important to give yourself time to go through the stages of recovery.
The acute phase
As it is with any devastating wound, the first divorce recovery stage is about stopping the ‘bleeding.’ In this first stage, you are keener on addressing your emotions before making any significant decisions for your life. It is normal to feel out of control when it comes to your feelings and paralyzed by the shock of an impending divorce.
In this first stage, giving yourself time to process the situation is important. If possible, reach out to family members or close friends for support, and even a divorce attorney or therapist. Ensuring you get enough sleep and eat well will help you deal with the emotional rollercoaster you experience in this stage.
The acceptance phase
Once the ‘bleeding’ is under control, the acceptance stage is about addressing the wound to ensure the bleeding does not begin again. The acceptance phase can take weeks or months as you battle with different emotions like grief, anger, shame, guilt, and fear. These are all feelings associated with grieving and are a normal recovery process from divorce.
It is important to allow yourself to sit with the feelings and go through the emotions, as this is a critical phase in the recovery journey.
The adjustment phase
Once you make peace with the fact that you are now divorced, you eventually start to adapt to your new life as a single person. When adjusting to your new life, you realize you are feeling stronger and have your emotions under control. You can make plans for your life, including mapping out a new future for yourself now that your spouse is out of the picture.
During the adjustment phase, you can reconnect with the people around you, make co-parenting work if kids are involved, and focus on joining support groups and meeting like-minded people.
The reality phase
Once you have adjusted to your new life, you will slowly realize that you are no longer hurt from the trauma you experienced and even start enjoying your new reality. While the healing process can take time, it is important to use this time for self-improvement and self-awareness. You can find new passions, make new friends, and build a new life.
Once you are healed, you will also be able to forgive yourself and your ex-spouse for the mistakes you both made in your marriage.
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Why Divorce Is Harder for Men
Unlike men, women find it easier to cope with different situations because speaking to their social circle, close friends, and family members about their situations comes more naturally to them. Research has shown that divorce is harder on men than on women. Generally, men have more to lose in terms of happiness and health after a divorce than their wives. Here is why.
Men avoid the grieving process
After divorce, most men prefer to skip the grieving process because most men do not know how to grieve the loss. Instead, they prefer to bottle up their emotions, making it harder for them to go through the recovery process. Most men pick up other habits as a way of coping, which is sometimes life-changing and self-destructive coping mechanisms like substance addictions, alcohol abuse, or harmful sexual behavior.
Physical health declines in men after divorce
Most men experience health issues during the difficult time of divorce and stressful time after. Some of the most common health issues they experience include insomnia, weight loss or gain, anxiety, and depression.
Men are also burdened with balancing their finances to ensure they can support their new life as single men while still meeting divorce process payments and paying child support. Divorced men also struggle with a loss of identity and self-esteem issues. All these issues make them more susceptible to heart disease and stroke.
Men move on too fast
Since most men do not take time to grieve the loss of their marriage, they immediately get back out there, get into new relationships, and use dating after divorce as a fresh start. This is because most men have a hard time being alone after divorce a this forces them to deal with their emotions. This often leads to troubled relationships and, more likely, divorce in their second marriages.
If you’re looking for information on Divorce for Men, follow mensgroup.com now.
Divorce Recovery Tips for Men
Allow yourself time to grieve
The reality of what you have lost and starting over can come with a lot of negative emotions. Instead of jumping into another relationship or getting into unhealthy habits to numb the pain, giving yourself time to grieve is advisable.
Like the loss of a loved one to death, divorce requires you to go through stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and later acceptance. It is important to have people in your life with whom you can share your post-divorce emotions during the grieving process. Without grieving the loss, your life will be negatively affected.
Regain your sense of identity
It is easy to lose your self-identity in marriage as your life merges with that of your now ex-wife. Life after divorce includes finding your way back to yourself and rediscovering who you are and what makes life what it is for you. Tap into your positive attributes and work on overcoming the negative ones to ensure you do not get back into the same habits with your next relationship.
Avoid jumping into a new relationship immediately
After divorce, there are always many intense emotions that need unpacking and addressing. Ignoring these issues and jumping into a new relationship immediately after can be detrimental to healing. While you will eventually need to get out there again, taking time out of the dating scene is advisable to give yourself time to heal from the heartbreak caused by the divorce.
Be ready to co-parent with your new ex
Parenting after divorce is new territory for most men, especially immediately after divorce when emotions are still running high. It is upon you and your ex-wife to make co-parenting work for the children’s sake. Avoid negative talks about your ex around your kids, and never blame the kids for the divorce.
Even as you care for your physical health after divorce, it is important to remember that your mental health is just as important. If you find yourself stuck in your emotions after divorce, it is often advisable to speak to a divorce counselor or mental health professional. Seeing a therapist has numerous mental health benefits and gives you access to helpful, professional advice. You can find reputable therapists on online professional sites such as LinkedIn.
Join a support group
Divorce can be stressful for everyone involved. And the reality of divorce is that most people have been affected by it. Women are more often reaching out for support during a divorce to their family and friends, which is not always easy for men. This is why divorce support groups for men are so important.
Divorce support groups for men are support forums designed to cater to men going through a divorce or newly single men who have recently undergone a divorce. In these groups, men meet to discuss and support each other while offering helpful advice to make life after divorce easier. MensGroup is a leading online support group for men that hosts sessions for divorced men.
Information About MensGroup
Men’s Group is an online support platform for men with the primary goal of creating a positive community for men. Here, men can talk about anything they are going through, including divorce and divorce recovery.
During the MensGroup divorce support group meetup, you virtually chat with other group members going through something similar and get divorce recovery help. These online meetings are cost-effective and have been proven effective. Joining MensGroup is your best chance to handle divorce positively and hope for a happier, more fulfilling life, even after divorce.
The Bottom Line
Life after divorce for men can be tasking, both emotionally and financially. Learning how to navigate life after divorce is ideal to ensure you do not lose yourself. It is possible to find happiness again after a divorce. This article highlights helpful tips to help men find their footing in life after divorce. Joining a support group like MensGroup can help you find legal guidance, emotional help, or advice on starting a new life or relationship after divorce.
*Sources: 1. Where Are You In The Divorce Recovery Cycle? 2. How to Heal From a Divorce 3. How to Recover After Divorce 4. 46 Steps to Ensure Your Divorce Recovery: A Definition and Guide 5. 50 Things You Can Do Right Now to Help You Recover from a Divorce