Do you want to become a better husband? Would you like to learn how to be a better husband? Are you having trouble relating with your wife? Do you want to reignite the spark in your marriage? If you are looking for ideas on having a healthy relationship with your wife and bringing back the romance, this article is for you.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I have facilitated online support groups, including marriage support groups, for over 10 years. In my years of work, I have had the pleasure of working with married men and helping them become better men and husbands.
This article has everything you need to know about becoming a better man and tips on how to become a better husband and improve your relationship with your wife.
Table of Contents:
Why do men struggle with being husbands?
Before you can learn how to be a better husband, it is essential for you to understand why men sometimes struggle with marriage and intimate relationships in the first place.
The face of a good marriage and intimate relationships has changed over generations. How the institution of marriage is conducted today differs from how it was conducted 3 or 4 decades ago, regardless of your belief system, whether you are a Christian or not.
In older generations, men were seen as these stoic figures whose job was to hold the family together, protect and provide. Wives were left to run the home and take care of children as men went away to work to support the family.
Today, the expectations of being a married couple are not restricted to traditional gender roles and stereotypes. More than ever, more women are working today, and some bring in more money than their husbands. More and more men are taking over domestic duties and helping out more around the house. Today, stay-at-home dads are common, unheard of in older generations.
These changes happen not only at the practical levels but also in the emotional levels of the relationships. Today, wives want their husbands to be emotionally engaged in the relationship. To most men, adjusting to these changes and learning to be equals in relationships can be hard to understand, which leaves most men struggling to be great husbands.
Some of the core reasons why men struggle include:
Men are unaware of their emotional needs
Emotional awareness is one of the signs of a good partner.
Most men are not taught how to identify and nurture their emotional needs as part of self care when growing up. They grow up with a blind spot when it comes to emotional needs and issues. This makes it hard for them to identify and manage their negative feelings in a healthy way as adults. Once they are married, these men are said to be emotionally unavailable since they are unable to connect with their wives from an emotional standpoint.
Men are afraid of being emotionally vulnerable
One of the ways relationship intimacy can be nurtured is through remaining emotionally open to our significant other. With vulnerability, there is mutual understanding, support and empathy.
Most men remain emotionally closed off because, for a long time, they were told that putting their emotions on display made them lesser men, which affected their self esteem. The inability to emotionally connect with their spouses can strain the relationship and make it hard for men to be better husbands.
Nine tips on How to be a better husband
Learn to be emotionally vulnerable and available
One of the best ways to become a better husband is by learning to be emotionally available and vulnerable with your spouse. While it may be scary initially, sharing your vulnerability is the best way to let your partner in and show them that you trust them with your emotions. Allowing your partner to see your vulnerable side is a good way of becoming closer.
Learn to listen
Becoming a good listener and fostering better communication in your relationship is one of the best ways of reaffirming your love and care for your spouse. Whenever your wife needs to be heard, you need to remain quiet and give them the time and attention to express themselves, even when talking about small things.
Nodding is an excellent way to show that you are listening without interrupting them. You can also use words such as “It sounds like you are feeling…” or “I hear you saying…” to seek understanding on the issues being raised.
Once they are done, you can ask questions for better understanding and find an amicable way of helping if needed.
Find healthy ways of dealing with conflict
Conflict often leads to heightened emotions and tension in relationships. One of the ways you can become a better husband is by learning how to handle conflict without making your spouse feel attacked. During conflicts, it is important to remain respectful and find ways to work with your partner for a solution. Often, couples forget they are not against each other in a conflict but rather against a common problem.
To become a better husband, you must learn to recognize your contribution to issues and remain accountable for your actions. This shows your willingness to learn and grow through conflict, reaffirming your commitment to the relationship.
Bring the spark back in and out of the bedroom
Physical intimacy is an ideal way of promoting a good relationship. Marriages go through different seasons, and sometimes, the ups and downs of life can affect sexual intimacy, leading to a sexless marriage.
If you feel that lack of sex is affecting your marriage, you can try bringing back the spark by reviving your sex life. Remain open to trying new things to bring more sexual intimacy into the relationship.
It is also important to romance your spouse outside of the bedroom. Consider sending random text messages, using words of affirmation, keeping eye contact when talking to them, using acts of service like helping to clean up, sending gifts and doing the little things they love as a way of reminding them of your love and commitment.
How often do married couples have sex? Find out here.
Make some alone time for each other
Spending uninterrupted time with your best friend is ideal for becoming a better husband. When you spend quality time together, you get to know what has been happening in your spouse’s life. You get to talk about anything and even make plans for your life. Consider scheduling frequent date nights where you enjoy activities that you both love. Speaking your spouse’s love language can go a long way in strengthening your connection.
Be a reliable spouse
It is important to have a reliable partner and equally important to be a partner who can be relied on. To become a reliable husband, you need to be consistent with your behavior, keeping your word and following through with the things you say you will do. This reinforces trust and stability in a relationship.
Be a trustworthy husband
One of the best ways to become a better husband is by ensuring you can be trusted. Trust is an important aspect of any relationship. Without it, it is impossible to strengthen the bond you have with your spouse. If there are any trust issues in the relationship, it is important that you address them amicably and find a way to move past them.
Forgive often and sooner
Marriage is often said to be a union of two people who have gotten too good at forgiving one another. It is essential to cultivate the habit of forgiving your spouse for the little things they do, especially after they apologize and you move past the issue. Holding on to what they do wrong will often breed resentment, negatively affecting your ability to be a good husband.
Consider seeing a couple’s therapist
Sometimes, even with all the right tools, it helps to have the help of a relationship expert to get your relationship back on track, especially if mental health-related issues cause a lack of connection. Seeing a marriage and family therapist is the most common route most men take to improve their relationship with their wives.
Couples open to couple’s therapy learn how to understand better and relate to each other and themselves. In therapy, the therapist or marriage counsellor acts as a neutral third party who takes a deeper look into your issues to help identify the problem areas by looking at issues from your point of view and that of your wife.
A good licensed marriage therapist will give practical steps you and your wife can follow to improve your relationship. You also learn of healthier ways of working through arguments and disagreements.
Joining a support group for men like MensGroup can also be an ideal solution for you.
How to Be a Better Husband – About MensGroup.com
If you are looking for an all-male support group online, MensGroup is the best place to be. This is a safe space where you can talk to fellow men in confidence and privacy about your marriage. Sometimes, talking to fellow married men is all the help you need to become a better husband.
You are not alone. MensGroup.com is a free space to share, learn, and grow, even as you make new friends.
Being in what feels like a dead marriage can be frustrating. If you want your relationship to work and your marriage to last, following the tips highlighted in this article about how to become a better husband, and joining a support group is the best decision you can make for your relationship.
If you are a man looking for guidance and support on how to be the perfect husband, mensGroup.com is the perfect place to get relationship advice, feedback, and support you need from fellow men who want to see you thrive and enjoy a happy marriage.