Wife Has No Sex Drive What Can I Do: 5 Best Things Men Should Do

My wife has no sex drive, what can I do? Can I help my wife regain her sex drive? How can I reverse my wife’s low libido? Can my wife love sex again? Is low sex drive reversible? If you are looking for answers to one or all of these questions, this article is for you.

Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I have been facilitating online support groups, including sexless marriage support groups, for more than 10 years. In my years of work, I have seen how lack of intimacy in a marriage can negatively affect the man and the relationship in general.

Finding reliable advice and information on how to handle a wife with a low sex drive is the best way to find healing and learn how to overcome this difficult hurdle. Here is everything you need to know about sexless marriages and what you can do as a man.

My wife has no sex drive what can I do? This article gives solid advice about how men can help improve the sex drive in their homes. This is based on my years of experience helping men in your situation. Whether you are looking for guidance or professional help, this article has everything you need to know.

Avatar photo

Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.


Wife Has No Sex Drive

Any gynecologist will tell you, that at least 50% of women have at least one sexual problem when it comes to their sexual function, and men suffer the side effects. This can either be low sex drive, lack of sexual desire, painful sex experiences even with lubrication, or trouble having an orgasm. However, this is not something you hear much about.

If you are a man living with a wife who seems to have a low sex drive, you are not alone. Studies also show that 1 in 3 women aged between 30 and 59 suffer from what is commonly referred to as low libido or low sexual desire. There are numerous causes of reduced sex drive, determining how best to deal with it.

The libido is simply one’s appetite or desire for sexual experiences. According to sex therapists, sexual desire can either be responsive or spontaneous.

When a person has spontaneous libido, they are sexually aroused spontaneously, which is what most people associate with people in their teenage years or early 20s. This is a sudden desire to have sex that washes over an individual from nowhere. When you have a spontaneous libido, you only need to think of sex to want it.

Responsive libido is the opposite of this. This type of libido is only awakened as a response to a stimulus. It is the kind of sexual desire that occurs when you read or watch something erotic or feel the touch of someone you have an emotional or sexual connection with. For people with a responsive libido, arousal has to happen first before they can have a desire for sex.

For women, spontaneous libido is only present in their formative years and is replaced with responsive libido after their teen years and early 20s. It is possible to confuse responsive libido with low libido when a woman fails to react to a sexual advance spontaneously.

While it is essential to ensure you do not confuse responsive libido with low libido in women, women can experience reduced sex drive as they grow older, which is a common sexual dysfunction in marriage.

When there is a mismatched sex drive in marriage, this is commonly referred to as Sexual Desire Discrepancy (SDD), when two partners fail to share the same level of libido or sex drive. In contrast, the medical term used for low libido is HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder), an arousal disorder.

If you’re looking for tips on How to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex, follow mensgroup.com.

Signs of Low Sex Drive in Women

Sexual desire in women fluctuates naturally throughout their lifetime. How high and low their sex drive is at any one time depends on their mental health, physical health, life changes, and even relationship changes, with pregnancy, menopause, mental health, or other health issues being the most common causes of these changes.

For a woman to be said to have a sex drive disorder, they should have shown signs of low libido for at least six months.

Common symptoms of low sex drive in women include:

  • Showing no interest in any sexual activity, including masturbation or foreplay
  • Never or hardly having sexual interest, thoughts or fantasies
  • Showing no concern about their lack of sexual activity
  • Difficulty in obtaining pleasure from genital stimulation or sex
  • Lack of interest in initiating sex

If you are looking for guidance on your relationship, read our article How to Deal with A Sexless Marriage as A Man.

What Causes Low Sex Drive in Women?

Underlying healthcare issues

In most cases, low libido in women can result from a medical condition. Common conditions and medications that can cause low sex drive include:

  • Depression and antidepressants
  • Obesity and being overweight affect her self-esteem and body image
  • Hypertension and blood pressure medication
  • Chronic health issues such as hypothyroidism, diabetes, arthritis, cardiovascular disease and endocrine, anemia, or neurological disorders.
  • Chronic pain
  • sexual health issues like Vulvodynia, a condition that makes sex painful
  • Mental health disorders
  • Reduced blood flow to the vagina and uterus
  • Hormone changes or deficiency, hormonal imbalances, or low testosterone levels
  • Injury to blood vessels or nerves in the sexual organ after a hysterectomy or other reproductive organs surgery.
  • Pregnancy, birth control, breastfeeding, or menopause.

Personal issues

Daily stresses of life can negatively impact a woman’s libido. If your wife spends her day at a stressful job or taking care of the kids and household, chances are they will have little to no energy for sex. At the end of the day, sleep and rest become more important than sex, causing a lack of sex for you.

The quality of her relationship

One of the most significant factors contributing to the high and lows of a woman’s libido is the quality of her relationship. Women value emotional connections more than sexual connections with their partners. If she feels her emotional need are neglected, this can affect her desire for sex. Some common relationship issues that may affect your sex life include:

  • Infidelity
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Desire to punish or control the husband by withholding sex
  • Unresolved relationship issues that cause resentment
  • Power imbalances in the relationship

On the other hand, you can also read our article How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex.

My Wife Has No Sex Drive What Can I Do – How To Get Your Wife’s Sex Drive Back

What Causes Low Sex Drive in Women?

As a partner with a higher sex drive, it can get frustrating when your wife has a lower libido. If your wife is showing signs of a low sex drive, you need to help her overcome this hurdle, which calls for an honest and open conversation about the issue. Here are steps you can take to bring back the spark in your bedroom.

Work on your intimacy

While men have no problem connecting through sex, most women seek emotional intimacy before sexual intimacy. If you feel that the connection between you has diminished, you need to start building it up again. You can foster an emotional connection by making quality time for the two of you, helping out with the kids or around the house, or doing things that will bring you closer together.

You can create at least 10 to 15 minutes every day where you tell each other the highs and lows of your day. This undivided attention can help rekindle the connection between the two of you.  

Learn more on how to be a good husband in this article.

Start talking about your sexual fantasies and desires

To get your sex life back, you need to foster a sense of vulnerability and openness in your relationship. Start by talking to her about your unexplored sexual fantasies and let her open up about hers. While she may not be ready to explore these fantasies yet, talking about them creates a form of intimacy and stimulation.  

Plan date nights

If you cannot remember the last time you went on a date with your wife, this may be part of the problem. Helping your wife get back her sex drive involves dating her and making her feel special. Start putting in the effort to plan romantic dates and getaways and make them a regular thing in your relationship. This kind of energy is sure to help her desire sex more.

Address underlying mental or physical health issues

If your wife’s low libido results from an underlying health issue, it is important to address it. Mental health issues such as anxiety, stress, and depression are known to lower sex drive in individuals and require treatment to improve the sex drive. Talking to a mental health professional or a women’s health doctor can help restore her well-being and sex drive.

It is also important to have medications for health conditions altered or balanced as an imbalance can also cause low libido.

Seek professional help

If you do all the above and still find that you and your partner are still experiencing a libido mismatch, it is advisable to seek the help of a professional about your relationship problems. This can be a marriage counselor, sex therapy from a certified sex therapist, or a couple’s counselor. Speaking with a professional can help you improve your communication, mindfulness for one another, and ultimately get back to a matched sex drive. Also, joining a support group for men like MensGroup can also be an ideal solution for you.

About MensGroup

About MensGroup

My wife has no sex drive what can I do? Sometimes, talking to fellow married men is all the help you need to spice up your marriage again.

MensGroup is an online-based support group that ensures you can get help and advice on how to get your wife to have more sex. On this men-only site, you will meet other men who have experienced sexless marriages and managed to overcome the challenge.

You will learn how to get your wife sexually interested in you again. If you are a man in a sexless marriage, Men’s Group is a free space to share, learn, and grow, even as you make new friends.


Being in what feels like a sexless marriage can be frustrating. If you want your relationship to work and your marriage to last, following the tips highlighted in this article and joining a support group is the best decision you can make for your relationship.

If you are a man looking for guidance and support on how to get your wife to have more sex, the men’s group is the perfect place to get the advice, feedback, and support you need from fellow men who want to see you thrive and enjoy a happy marriage.

1. Low sex drive in women
2. Why Women Lose Interest in Sex -- and What Helps
3. Steps to Take If Your Low Sex Drive Is Impacting Your Relationship
4. What Help Is Available for Low Sex Drive in Women?
5. 11 Sneaky Causes of a Low Sex Drive in Women