How to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex: Tips to Improve Wife’s Sex Drive

Do you want to learn how to seduce your wife? Do you want to bring back the spark to your bedroom? Do you want to make your wife desire sex more? Do you want to learn how you can turn on your wife and make them want more sex with you? If you are looking for ideas on how to get your wife to have more sex and bring back the fire in your bedroom, this article is for you.

Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I have been an educator and facilitator for online support groups, including sex support groups, for more than 10 years. In my years of work, I have enjoyed working with married couples and helping them find their way back to romance and seduction.

If you have been wondering how to improve your sex life at home, you have landed in the right place. This article has everything you need to know about wife seduction and tips on how to get your wife to have more sex.

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Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.


How to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex

Remember when you both started as a married couple? Or when you had just started dating, and everything about the relationship was new and exciting? In those days, seducing your significant other, who you would later make your wife, seemed easy, like clockwork.

Your sex life might have probably consisted of long foreplays, cuddling, sexy lingerie, hot outfits, and dirty texting that never seemed to go out of fashion.

But then, after years into the marriage, things stop being as hot as they used to be, as though your wife has become someone else less interested in sexual intimacy than you.

When sex declines, it is normal to keep wondering where all the fire went to and whether you and your wife are falling apart when this happens. Married life has a way of getting in the way of romance and better sex, and this is fine.

Physical intimacy is an important part of any marriage at the end of the day. Without it, most marriages fall apart. The most common sexual disconnect in a marriage is when a husband wants more sex than the wife.

If you have woken up to the realization that your sex drive is higher than your wife’s, there are certain things you can do to make your wife initiate sex with you. Here is how to seduce your woman and get her to want more sexual activity with you.

If you are looking for guidance on your relationship, read our article How to Deal with A Sexless Marriage as A Man.

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Reasons That May Make Married Women Less Interested in Sex

As a husband who is more interested in sex than your wife, it is normal to wonder whether your sexual performance is the reason for her lack of interest and start doubting yourself. However, male performance is not the number one reason women lose interest in sex. There are many other reasons for this.

She’s too busy

If your wife works a full-time job, chances are she is too overwhelmed with work and sex is the last thing on her mind. Even without a job, she probably spends her days running the household and raising kids, which can be exhausting and stressful. When this happens, she is too busy and overwhelmed, hence the low sexual desire.

In any marriage, women are still left to do most household chores and childcare, even after spending equal hours in their job as men. With no help at home from the husband, your wife may become resentful because of the imbalance. This may cause a lack of sex.

She feels sexually pressured

Since you are more interested in sex than her, a woman feels pressured by your constant ask for sex, which works to your disadvantage by making her stressed and libido low. Most of this pressure comes from knowing that she is not having as much sex as the husband would want. This sometimes leaves her feeling like her partner is unhappy. This unnecessary pressure is a quick libido killer that may set off a cycle of avoiding sex.

Your kind of sex does not bring her pleasure

Sometimes, your wife may show disinterest in sex because the kind of sexual experiences you are interested in does not bring her sexual pleasure. For instance, most women do not climax from vaginal penetration alone or may prefer the use of sex toys or clitoral stimulation. If you do not take time to learn something new or how to pleasure her, sex becomes a routine of displeasure for her that only benefits the man, which affects her desire to have sex often or makes her prefer masturbation to please herself.

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She feels emotionally disconnected

While some people do not need an emotional connection for sex to work, this is not usually the case for long-term relationships. If your wife feels emotionally disconnected from you, it can affect how her body responds to your sexual advances. Sexual interest often emerges naturally when there is an authentic emotional connection between two people.

Most couples go for weeks or months without spending quality time together or having heartfelt conversations. If you have noticed that you and your wife feel more like roommates than lovers, it is ideal to start working on your emotional connection to make her more interested in sex.

Unresolved issues in the relationship

If you have been having unresolved relationship issues, it may be why your wife’s libido seems to have taken a nosedive.

Ongoing arguments, marital affairs, power imbalances, and disagreements can affect her sex drive if they are not handled conclusively. Relationship satisfaction and sexual desire go hand in hand.


If you have children, sometimes motherhood can take center stage, which affects her desire for sex. Sometimes, her self-esteem about her body image may change after childbearing, making her feel less attractive. This may make her imagine that you find her less attractive, which affects your sexual relationship. Most women lose their sense of personal identity when they become mothers, and without consistent reminders, she completely loses themselves in the role of a mother.

Menopause and other medical issues

Reasons That May Make Married Women Less Interested in Sex

Menopause is one of the most common medical killers of sex drive in women. When a woman is in her menopausal years, her body’s anatomy and physiology change, and there is a decrease in estrogen, the female sex hormone. There is reduced blood flow to her genital organ, which can make sex painful. This changes how her body responds to sex, making her less interested in sex. Also, different health issues can affect a woman’s libido, especially if they have had these condition since they were young.

On the other hand, you can also read our article Wife Has No Sex Drive What Can I Do.

Struggles with her mental health

Stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can be a huge stumbling block to your wife’s ability to rise to the occasion. Also, being on medication to treat different mental health issues can affect her desire for sex.

How to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex

Reconnect with her

According to research, the most common reason for a sexless marriage is unresolved hurt feelings from the past. This can include negative habits like one partner always turning the other down, not making enough time for one another, leaving a partner feeling neglected, lack of communication or communication breakdown, anxiety, failed trust, family pressure, kids, finances, and even careers.

Start reconnecting with your wife as an individual and stop having sex as a relational routine. Focus on sharing sensual feelings and intimate sexual thoughts. Come to a compromise that works for the two of you.

Seduction is all about getting to know your partner in the present and finding ways to surprise her. Remind her that the passion that brought you together is still alive and waiting to be exploited.

Play to your masculine traits

There is a reason men are considered stronger and more masculine than women are. As a man, your wife expects you to provide, protect, and support. When trying to seduce your wife, you need to play to these traits. Women love it when men take control of the relationship healthily. Start making plans for the two of you instead of waiting for her to do it. Reserve a table for dinner or book a vacation, women like it when men take charge.

Planning and foreplay

For a night to end up with steamy sex in your bedroom, it should involve many conversations and foreplay. Spending quality time with your wife is the best way to get into the mood. As things progress to physical touch, you can prolong the foreplay for longer and consider delayed gratification. This gives you time to focus on sensation and your emotional connection far beyond a physical release. The idea here is to get her excited and anticipate what is coming. You can spice things up by making your steps unpredictable positively.

Involve a third party

Sometimes, even with all the right tools, it helps to have the help of a third party to get your sex life back. Couples therapy, a sex therapist, or sex counseling is the most common route most people take to improve their sex life. However, joining a support group for men like MensGroup can also be an ideal solution for you.

On the other hand, you can also read our article How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex.

About Men’s Group

About Men's Group

Sometimes, talking to fellow married men is all the help you need to spice up your marriage again.

Men’s Group is an online-based support group that ensures you can get help and advice on how to get your wife to have more sex. On this men-only site, you will meet other men who have experienced sexless marriages and managed to overcome the challenge.

You will learn how to get your wife sexually interested in you again. If you are a man in a sexless marriage, Men’s Group is a free space to share, learn, and grow, even as you make new friends.


Being in what feels like a sexless marriage can be frustrating. If you want your relationship to work and your marriage to last, following the tips highlighted in this article and joining a support group is the best decision you can make for your relationship.

If you are a man looking for guidance and support on how to get your wife to have more sex, is the perfect place to get the advice, feedback, and support you need from fellow men who want to see you thrive and enjoy a happy marriage.

1. How to Resurrect Your Sex Life
2. My Wife Has No Desire for Sex. What Can I Do to Get Our Sex Lives Back on Track?
3. It’s Time to Rethink the Way You Pleasure Your Wife
4. What is maintenance sex? It may help strengthen your marriage
5. Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage