Am I dating a narcissistic girlfriend? Is my girlfriend a narcissist? What are the signs of a narcissistic partner? How can I handle a narcissistic girlfriend? How do I leave a narcissistic relationship? If you are looking for answers to these and more questions about narcissistic women and girlfriends, this article is for you.
My name is Sean Galla, an online support group facilitator for more than 10 years. I have overseen numerous support groups that focus on issues affecting men, including dating narcissistic women. In my line of work, I have seen how having a narcissistic girlfriend can affect a man’s life and how important it is for men to have a place where they can share and get help for their experiences.
If you suspect that your girlfriend is a narcissist, this article has all the information you need to help confirm your suspicion and learn how to handle a narcissistic girlfriend.
Here is everything you need to know about dating a narcissistic girlfriend.
Table of Contents:
What is Narcissism
Whenever you hear the term narcissist on social media or in your day-to-day life, you probably form a mental image of a person obsessed with their appearance and self-absorbed with a narcissistic supply that never runs dry. However, NPD or narcissistic personality disorder encompasses much more superficiality than what you see. A narcissist is also commonly confused for a psychopath, though most psychopaths are narcissists.
Because of the common misconception of narcissism, it can sometimes be challenging to spot a narcissist, especially if it is a loved one or someone you want to be romantically connected to. Whether it is a co-worker, family member, friend, girlfriend, or even spouse, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be heartbreaking and toxic.
When dating a female narcissist, they can easily wreak havoc in your life using different manipulative tactics to get away with it. Trying to reason with them seems futile, especially if the person is unwilling to accept that they have a problem.
According to the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, NPD is characterized by an overly extended sense of self-worth and grandiosity. People with this personality disorder have an unquenchable need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, and have a hard time forming healthy relationships. Contrary to popular belief, narcissistic people do not have high self-esteem, but quite the opposite.
The narcissistic traits displayed by a narcissist are usually a mask to cover up their low self-esteem. A little poking into their self-esteem can significantly fracture their ego, commonly referred to as a narcissistic injury. If you cause this injury, the narcissist will go to extra lengths to ensure you pay. They can use different forms of narcissistic behaviors to retaliate, including gaslighting, using the silent treatment, projecting, withholding finances, shifting blame, and rage, among other forms of physical, mental, and emotional abuse to try and devalue you.
For one to be diagnosed with NPD, they have to exhibit at least five of the following personality traits:
- Believing they are unique and can only be understood by similarly special people
- Need for praise and admiration
- Exploiting others for personal gain
- Grandiosity and an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Obsession with fantasies of success and power
- Jealousy, envy, distrust
- Sense of entitlement
- A lack of empathy
A narcissistic personality disorder can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional like a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Since most narcissists do not seek help, a lot of people go through life exhibiting the signs without a diagnosis. This causes many issues in their personal lives and that of their partners.
Even if your girlfriend has not been clinically diagnosed with NPD, they can exhibit other behavior and patterns in your abusive relationship that may signify that they are narcissistic or a sociopath. Here are telltale red flags of a narcissistic girlfriend.
You can also read our article Narcissistic Wife and follow mensgroup.com now.
Signs of a Narcissistic Girlfriend
They derive pleasure from other’s pain
the most common quality of narcissistic females is their tendency to draw pleasure from other people’s feelings of pain. They take every little aspect of the relationship as a competition and will go above and beyond to ensure they bring down their spouse or look better or smarter than them. They seem happy when their victims look shocked, crestfallen, and offended. She suffers from a lack of empathy and gives shallow responses or no concern for emotional matters affecting their victim.
They are overly competitive
A narcissist loves turning a relationship into a competition. When dating a narcissistic girlfriend, you will never have a healthy relationship since they sabotage communication, never accept they are wrong and use put-downs and blame-shifting to manipulate you into their way of thinking and seeing things.
Gaslighting and mental health abuse
Gaslighting is a common method used by narcissists to deceive and question a person’s idea of reality. When your girlfriend is gaslighting you, they focus on gaining power in the relationship by making you question your beliefs and thoughts. Being in a relationship with this person makes you feel insecure, forcing you always be the one apologizing for your mistakes.
They always want to control the conversation
In a healthy relationship, both parties have the liberty to guide conversations, offer solutions and freely express themselves through communication. When dating a narc, every conversation becomes about themselves as this brings attention to them. A narcissistic person will want to command the conversation focus without paying any attention to the other person’s needs. Instead of waiting their turn, they will interrupt your mid-conversation to share their own points.
They have a superiority complex
Narcissists have an overinflated ego and a rage they use to undermine everyone else to cater to their own needs. They are unconcerned about your sentiments as the boyfriend and will do everything to ensure their authority is felt and respected.
If you’re looking for signs of When to Walk Away After Infidelity, follow mensgroup.com now.
Can You Have a Healthy Relationship With a Narcissist?
On paper, a narcissist is the ideal love partner. They seem to have their money, success, career, and personal life in check. They seem self-assured and do not need validation, which lures most men into a new relationship with them. However, you start to see the cracks once you are in the relationship. They can strip you of your self-worth and confidence with time, leaving you a shell of your former self.
When you date a narcissistic girlfriend, your day-to-day will be characterized by feelings of loneliness and sadness, where you have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid setting them off. You are always trying to ensure you say the right things not to anger them, and everything feels like a trigger.
To thrive in a relationship with a narcissistic girlfriend, you must know how to deal with them.
How to Deal With a Narcissistic Girlfriend
Set clear boundaries
When dating a narcissist woman, you need to set clear boundaries. These boundaries should convey your values and beliefs in your relationship and tells the narcissist that you are not falling for their tricks. You may need to constantly reestablish your boundaries since your partner will always try to push back.
State your expectations
Let your partner know your expectations in the relationship and the consequences of not meeting them. Let them know what you are unwilling to compromise or tolerate and the grounds for a breakup. They should be able to honor your needs without feeling threatened or resulting in manipulation.
Learn to take personal time away from her
Personal time is important in a healthy relationship and the well-being of the people involved. It is even more important when dating a narcissist. Whenever you notice they are acting up, you can protect yourself from the situation by stepping away for personal time. This includes having other interests and friendships away from your relationship that will prevent you from being codependent on your partner.
You might like to read our article My Narcissistic Ex and follow mensgroup.com.
When to Leave a Narcissistic Girlfriend
Most of the time, romantic relationships with a narcissistic person do not work. If you are not sure about when to break up with a narcissistic girlfriend, some of the signs can include:
- Your partner refuses to get mental health assistance from a psychotherapist
- Refusal to seek relationship counseling
- They show no respect for your boundaries
- They always seem to make everything your fault
- You cannot effectively communicate your feelings
- You feel underappreciated and undervalued
- You feel emotionally disconnected
- Your self-esteem and self-image start to suffer
- Your mental health is deteriorating
- Your partner becomes emotionally, financially, physically, and/or sexually abusive.
Once you are sure about leaving a narcissistic girlfriend, they may result in love bombing and self-pity as a toxic way of trying to convince you that you are their soulmate. To ensure you do not fall back into the same patterns, it is advisable to leave the relationship fast.
Take time to reconnect with the friend and family member the narcissist isolated you from, as this will help you in the healing journey.
Join a support group
Most boyfriends of narcissistic girlfriends do not seek help because they think that no one will understand. Most domestic violence victims of narcissism are hardly believed because narcissists display their best features in public and to family members. They often con other people with their charming personality that projects kindness, perfection, honesty, and superiority. This makes it hard for a victim to find people who can believe their experience.
In a narcissist support group like MensGroup, you will be in the presence of other people who have gone through similar trauma. This is one of the best places to speak up, be heard, and be believed. You will meet with other victims of narcissistic exes who are willing to walk with you and help you find healing.
If you’re looking for information on Male Victims of Domestic Abuse, follow mensgroup.com now.
Men’s Group is a men-only support forum that offers resources and meetings to anyone dating a narcissistic girlfriend. With the right support, anyone can heal, grow, and change. You will be placed in a group with other men who have been through narcissistic abuse and understand your situation. This gives you a free space to share and learn from others who have previously walked in your shoes. With a support system of fellow men, you can overcome your trauma and lead a healthy, successful, and happy life.
It is often said that a problem shared is a problem solved. Having a place you can freely talk about your experience as a man dating a narcissist is the first step to healing. A group like Mensgroup.com offers you a platform where you can share your story to inspire others and get support to overcome the trauma of being a victim of narcissistic spouses. A support group offers you a safe space where you meet compassionate people who are willing and ready to guide you through the recovery process.
*Sources: 1. Narcissism in Romantic Relationships: An Analysis of Couples' Behavior during Disagreements 2. ARE YOU THE TROPHY OF A NARCISSIST? 3. Narcissists Prefer The Romantic Company Of Other Narcissists, According To New Research 4. 9 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist — and How to Get Out 5. How To Win With A Narcissist: 5 Secrets Backed By Research