How to Improve the Relationship with Your Wife: A Helpful Guide for Men

Do you want to have a better relationship with your wife? Are you having a breakdown in how you relate with your wife? Do you want to reignite the spark in your marriage? Do you want to spice up your sex life? If you are looking for ideas on how to improve the relationship with your wife and bring back the romance, this article is for you.

Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I have been facilitating online support groups, including marriage support groups, for more than 10 years. In my years of work, I have had the pleasure of working with married couples and helping them find their way back to romance and seduction.

If you have been wondering how you can enjoy a healthy relationship with your wife and bring back the aphrodisiacs and emotional intimacy in your relationship, you have just landed in the right place. This article has everything you need to know about overcoming relationship problems and tips on how to improve the relationship with your wife and thrive again as a married couple.

In this article, I will give you expert step-by-step tips on how to improve your relationship with your wife.

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Written by

Sean Galla

An experienced facilitator, community builder and Peer Support Specialist, Sean has been running men's groups for 10+ years. Read Sean's Full Author Bio.


How to Improve the Relationship with Your Wife

Remember the good old days when you had just started dating, and everything about the relationship was new, fresh, and exciting? In those days, seducing your girlfriend, who you would later make a married woman, seemed easy, like clockwork. You knew exactly what buttons to press to make her want you or feel good. Your relationship was thriving, the emotional connection and sexual desire were at their peak, enough to make the best porn stars jealous.

In those days, your love story probably consisted of long foreplays, eye contact, consistent check-in, sexy lingerie, hot outfits that would send you begging, and dirty texting in your cellphones that never seemed to go out of fashion. In those days, you fully understood each other’s love languages and would curse at anyone who thought that how you relate with your wife would ever dwindle or even become a difficult task.

However, years later, after a long-term relationship and a family life, you realize that your relationship is not at hot as it once was, you feel as though your wife has become someone else because you find it harder every day to have a sane relationship with her.

You probably keep wondering where all the fire went to and whether your relationship is falling apart.

Marriage has a way of getting in the way of intimate relationships, and this is fine. If you have woken up to the realization that your relationship with your wife is stuck in a rut, there is a way to bring back the spark and desire in the woman you fell in love with. Here is how to improve the relationship with your wife and bring back the spark into your marriage.

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How to Improve the Relationship With Your Wife 

Remind yourself why you fell for her

Working on the relationship with your wife should be an endeavor you undertake because you want to, not because you have to. Your intentions should go beyond your need for physical intimacy if you want your wife to respond positively to your advances.

Reconnecting with your wife requires you to get to her heart first, which leads her to desire a physical connection. For you to do this flawlessly, you need to remind yourself why you fell for her. Go back to the first time you saw her and the things that drew you to her, like her warmth, laugh, smile, or eyes. Go back to your first date and everything you did together when you were a new couple.

Going back to the time you met will remind you how to make your wife content, happy, and feel loved again. When your intentions are right, you can start reviving your passion by making your wife want to work on your relationship too.  

Learn to use your words

Most married women love being reminded that they are appreciated and needed. Before technology took over, love letters were a tool used to woo women, with many men succeeding at winning the hearts of the women they loved. Even with text messaging, love letters are still a major turn-on today. They are an easy way of letting your wife know that you still love and appreciate her just by taking the time to write the letter.

To write the perfect love letter, you can start it with a special salutation. This can be a loving greeting or addressing her by her favorite pet name that you used back in your dating days. In the body of your letter, you need to let her know the reason for the letter. You can tell her that you thought of writing just to remind her that she is special and how lucky you feel that she chose you.

Writing straight from your heart is a sure way of striking the cords in her heart. You can include fond memories of you together where you felt most connected, and everything was perfect.

Finish the letter by telling her the hopes you have for your future together. Talking about your future together and growing old together is the best way to affirm her feeling of security in the relationship.  

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Reconnect with her

Reconnect with her

According to research, the most common reason for a relationship breakdown in marriage is unresolved hurt feelings from the past. This can include negative habits like one partner always turning the other down, failing to set aside enough time for one another, leaving a partner feeling neglected, lack of communication, anxiety, failed trust, family pressure, kids, finances, and even careers.

To bring back the spark in your marriage, you first need to start reconnecting with your wife as an individual. Start focusing on sharing sensual feelings and intimate thoughts. Come to a compromise that works for the two of you.

Part of improving the relationship with your wife involves getting to know your partner in the present and finding ways to surprise her. She needs to be reminded that the passion that brought you together is still alive and waiting to be exploited.

Through your efforts, your wife will know that they love you once felt for one another is still red-hot and that you are still willing to chase after her.

Play to your masculine traits

There is a reason men are considered stronger and more masculine than women. As a man, your wife expects you to provide, protect, and support. Part of learning how to improve the relationship with your wife included learning how to play to these traits.

Women love it when men take control of the relationship healthily. Start making plans for the two of you instead of waiting for her to do it. In any good relationship, it’s the small things that make a big difference. Little things like reserving a table for date night or booking a vacation are a sure way to a happy marriage.

Bringing back the spark in your bedroom

When it comes to having a fulfilling sex life in marriage, it works differently for different couples. You have a better chance of reigniting the fire in your bedroom by focusing on what works for you and your significant other instead of trying to do what others happy couples are doing.

For a night to end up with steamy sex in your bedroom, it should involve a lot of conversations, reading each other’s body language, and foreplay. Spending quality time with your wife is the best way to get into the mood.

This gives the two of you enough free time to focus on sensation and your emotional connection far beyond a physical release. The idea here is to get her excited and make her anticipate what is coming. You can spice things up by making your steps unpredictable positively.

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Consider seeing a couple’s therapist

Sometimes, even with all the right tools, it helps to have the help of a relationship expert to get your relationship back on track, especially if the lack connection is caused by mental health-related issues. Seeing a marriage and family therapist is the most common route most men take when they want to improve their relationship with their wives.

Couples open to couples therapy learn how to better understand and relate to each other and themselves. In therapy, the therapist or marriage counselor acts as a neutral third party who takes a deeper look into your issues to help identify the problem areas by looking at issues from your point of view and that of your wife.

A good licensed marriage therapist will give practical steps that you and your wife can follow to improve your relationship. You also learn of healthier ways of working through arguments and disagreements.

Joining a support group for men like MensGroup can also be an ideal solution for you.


If you are looking for an all-male support group online, MensGroup is the best place to be. This is a safe space where you can talk to fellow men in confidence and privacy about your marriage. Sometimes, talking to fellow married men is all the help you need to spice up your marriage.

In Men’s Group, you will meet other men who have experienced relationship issues in their marriages and managed to overcome the challenge and spice up their married life.

You are not alone. is a free space to share, learn, and grow, even as you make new friends.


Being in what feels like a dead marriage can be frustrating. If you want your relationship to work and your marriage to last, following the tips highlighted in this article about how to improve the relationship with your wife, and joining a support group is the best decision you can make for your relationship.

If you are a man looking for guidance and support, is the perfect place to get the advice, feedback, and support you need from fellow men who want to see you thrive and enjoy a happy marriage.

1. How to Have a Better Relationship
2. 5 Research-Backed Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
3. Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together
4. Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship
5. 7 things to say to your spouse to deepen your connection