Jordan Peterson: How To Get Over A Breakup FAST

There is more to a breakup than one may think. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, talks about how to get over a breakup in the video below. 


Jordan Peterson starts by talking about clients getting PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) from a relationship ending suddenly. The client will try to wrap their head about what they did wrong in the relationship. People do this for the hopes that the probability of the same problems happening again, will be minimized. “If you fall into a big pit and you get really hurt, the first thing you should figure out is how to not fall into big pits anymore. And your mind is set up exactly for that,” Jordan said in reference to your mind racing after a breakup. On the other hand, you might want to check Jim Carrey’s different take on depression.

Jordan’s advice to helping someone get through a breakup is walking them through it. He suggests doing a situational analysis. Meaning to break down what happened and to make goals for moving forward. Here are the steps to do a situational analysis:

1. Identify the goal that you want to achieve

In a case involving a breakup, the goal could be something like getting over that person without turning to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. Another example could be something more specific such as “I will not fight with my future partner about cleaning the house. I will make a cleaning chart and we will work together with cleaning the house.” Finding that goal is the start of the situational analysis. 

How To Get Over A Breakup FAST with Jordan Peterson

2. Identify the personal strengths that will help you to achieve the goal. 

An example of strength in getting over a relationship could be having support from friends and family with the breakup. A weakness could be being obsessed with looking at their Instagram account which can trigger feelings of wanting to go back to that person. Looking at what can help you and what could also hurt you in the process of achieving your goal is the second part of the analysis. You might want to read our article about Why are Men so Lonely with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee.

3. Review and prioritize your goals

Finally, make a rough estimate of when these goals could be achieved. An example of this would be “I will not be crying over this person in one year from this date.” Or “I will not drink for 6 months after this breakup to feel the true feelings of the situation and so I can do self-reflections whenever possible.” Putting the goals in place and setting them with a timeframe is the next part of the situational analysis. 

4. Work on achieving those goal(s).

The final step is to eventually achieve the goals. You might have some hiccups before getting there, but that is okay. 

In summary, Jordan Peterson explains that most people believe that when a breakup happens, they believe they did something to deserve it. A lot of the time, it isn’t what a person did to make the breakup happen, the couple might just not be compatible. Setting goals to get over that person will help the situation. 

If you or someone is going through a breakup, our Men’s Group can help!