Do you want to stop cheating on your partner? Do you want to break the pattern of cheating? Is it possible to stop cheating? Are you looking for advice on how to stop cheating? If you are looking for help to stop cheating on your wife, girlfriend, or partner, this article is for you.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla. I am a facilitator of support groups and support forums for men, with more than 10 years of experience. My job as a relationship expert includes facilitating support forums for men, including relationship and marriage support forums. In these forums, men come together for advice, guidance, and support for different issues affecting men, including infidelity and monogamy. If you are looking for advice and help to stop cheating, joining a support group is the first step in the right direction.
In this article, you will find information about how to stop cheating on your partner.
Table of Contents:
What is Cheating in Relationships?
Cheating in monogamous relationships is subjective. In some committed relationships, talking to someone you have romantic feelings for can be considered cheating. In other relationships flirting with another woman even through social media or other apps can be considered an emotional affair, while some couples only consider it as cheating if sexual contact is involved.
Generally, cheating in a monogamous relationship can be either physical or emotional. It is any contact between the cheating partner and another person that would make a significant other uncomfortable or feel betrayed. Cheating often follows the terms of a relationship and is only determined by the two people in a relationship.
If you are a married man, you might want to read our article How to Stop Arguing with Your Wife.
Cheating and Relationships
While many people would prefer to bury their heads in the sand and pretend cheating is rare, in real life cheating is a common problem in non-open relationships. According to studies, more than 16% of spouses have at some point cheated in their marriages, and the numbers are higher for non-married couples. Another study shows that one in five people admits to cheating on their loved one at some point in their relationship.
It is easy for people to assume that people who cheat are all bad people, but this cannot be farther from the truth. Infidelity can happen for different reasons, and they don’t necessarily mean that the person cheating is a bad person. Society rarely entertains any conversations that seek validation for the reasons for cheating, making it harder for people who cheated to make sense of their actions, mend their ways and salvage their relationships.
Unless one is a psychopath or social narcissist, no one wakes up one day and decides to become a serial cheater. Most people who cheat are not necessarily bad people. They are just people who, at some point, make decisions that hurt other people. If you are reading this article, it is because you realize you made a wrong choice and want to change and are looking for help to end the affair and overcome the habit of cheating.
If you are looking for tips and guidance on your relationship, read our article How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship and follow mensgroup.com.
Why People Cheat in Relationships
Why do people cheat? This is a common question asked by people who cheat and the victims of cheating. If you are a cheater interested in quitting, you have probably asked yourself this question. Unfortunately, there are no right or wrong answers to it. Every cheating scenario is different, and different reasons compel people to cheat.
Every day, relationships worldwide end as a consequence of cheating. Most people do not think cheating can be explained or justified. This begs the question, why would anyone risk everything for a few moments of passion?
While most cheating occurs due to relationship dissatisfaction, they are not uncommon in happy relationships. Other contributing factors include low self-esteem and personal dissatisfaction. This shows that sometimes cheating has nothing to do with the victim’s shortcomings but rather with the personal issues of the perpetrator.
Some of the most common reasons people cheat include:
- Dissatisfaction with current sex life
- Emotional dissatisfaction with current partner
- Lack of commitment to a relationship
- Differing sexual needs and expectations
- Addiction to sexual encounters outside of a relationship
- Open-minded attitude towards sex outside of a relationship
- Low self-esteem or feelings of insecurity
- Financial, family, or work stresses
- The excitement of the chase
- The opportunity presented itself
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How cheating starts
Most of the time, cheating is not something that happens with one person on a night of crazy drinking and bad choices. Sometimes, it takes time for emotions to build up. You meet someone, sometimes a best friend or co-worker, and you think there is a connection between you. You start spending time with each other and meet for casual dates. Without you knowing, you start neglecting your partner and even imagine you are losing interest as you get to know the new person.
The friendship with the new person is blossoming and quickly turns into a full-blown affair you cannot seem to get out from. Once this happens, the guilt kicks in, and you start feeling bad for betraying your girlfriend. Sometimes, you will start shifting blame to your current relationship to justify your affair. With time, the guilt begins to affect your affair as the consequences of your affair start to dawn on you.
Why it is hard to give up cheating
Cheating starts like a one-off thing but has the potential of becoming an addiction, especially when you are not caught. As much as you know it is wrong, you enjoy it since you have your needs met while remaining in your relationship or marriage. For instance, if you seek intellectual stimulation and do not get it at home, it is easy to start an affair with a friend or colleague who meets these needs. Cheating becomes hard to stop if you have your extra needs met outside of your relationship.
If you find it hard to stop cheating but want to, here are timely steps you can take to get over this addiction.
You can also read our article Is My Wife Cheating and follow mensgroup.com now.
How to Stop Cheating in your Relationships
Identify the reason for cheating
Once you decide to stop cheating, you first need to identify why you cheat in the first place. While this may be obvious to some people, it is not very obvious to others. Determining your reasons for cheating helps to determine the best steps to take to stop.
If you are unsure of the reason you cheat, you can analyze the behavior patterns you engage in that lead to cheating. Some people cheat to punish their partner, avoid becoming sexually dependent on one partner, escape from relationship issues, and sometimes for the excitement.
Determine what you want in your relationship
To learn how to stop cheating, you must first understand the role cheating plays in your relationship. You must first acknowledge that cheating is a choice you make and determine why you keep choosing to cheat.
Sometimes, the cheating may be making it easier for you to stay in a loveless relationship or maybe a step towards finally ending a relationship. Do you do it to punish your partner for the previous infidelity, or is it to get something you imagine is inaccessible in your marriage?
Once you identify what you want to accomplish from cheating, addressing the issue becomes easier. You also start finding other solutions away from cheating.
Address the issue
If you are committed to the relationship, you have to become honest and open with your spouse and communicate your feelings. Let them know what has been happening and why you think the affair happened. While it may take a while for your partner to understand, expressing yourself is the first step toward working on the issues in your relationship.
Work on learning what is missing in the relationship and find ways to make the relationship more fulfilling for the two of you one last time.
If you cheat to end things, you also need to address the subject with your lover. This way, you can set each other free instead of continuously hurting their feelings.
Stop the patterns that lead to cheating
Since you now know and identify your cheating cycle, you need to start avoiding patterns that lead you to cheat. Identifying and avoiding these patterns will help you avoid the temptation to cheat and the path that leads to it.
Crossing a boundary makes it easier to cross the next ones. Therefore, it is important to remain resolute in your decision and avoid situations that encourage you to cheat.
Seek professional help
Sometimes, the best way to move on after infidelity is to involve a neutral third party to help work on your issues and gain clarity.2 will help you deal with cheating behavioral patterns. This is a trained professional who will help you uncover the root cause of the cheating patterns and help you find ways to prevent it in the future.
Whether you are interested in staying in your primary relationship or leaving, working with a therapist can help make the process more productive and easier for both parties.
Join a Support Group
A simple search for a marriage support group online will give you multiple leads. Joining an infidelity recovery support group can help get your relationship back on track. One of the best support groups for men looking to recover from cheating is MensGroup.
Men’s Group offers a safe space to share, learn, and get relationship advice even as you work on overcoming the cheating habit. This is an all-men online support group where you meet other men who have managed to overcome the temptation of cheating and lead a faithful, monogamous life. At MensGroup, members can share in confidence and without fear of judgment. Men hurt too, and at mensgroup.com, you have a place to vent and find healing.
Like everything else in life, you can only stop cheating by working on your consistency in being faithful and avoiding your triggers. Following the points about how to stop cheating in this article will help you rebuild your relationship and make it affair-proof this time.
*Sources: 1. 10 Ways to Prevent Cheating in Relationship 2. Maintaining Relationships: How To Overcome Cheating 3. 3 strategies to 'cheat-proof' your relationship, according to a monogamy researcher 4. Infidelity 5. Why Do People Cheat in Relationships?