Kevin Rose and Tim Ferris share how men’s groups helped Kevin’s life.
On the Tim Ferris show, Kevin Rose talks about his men’s group journey and how it has positively impacted different areas of his life, including how he has handled his mom’s cancer diagnosis and the possibility of death.
Read on to learn more about the healing power of men’s groups, as seen from his experience.
Kevin Rose is a serial internet entrepreneur, technologist, world-class investor, and all-around self-experimenter known for the Kevin Rose Show and Podcast.
Like most men, Kevin Rose was once skeptical about joining men’s groups or even doing group therapy but found comfort in sharing some of his deepest struggles, like his mom’s battle with cancer in the men’s group.
“It’s really eye-opening” – Kevin Rose.
What is a men’s group?
Whenever men hear of men’s groups, the first image that comes to mind is a group of men going into the woods chanting, shouting, and beating on drums. Most men are unsure whether this is the kind of release they want. However, this idea about how men’s groups work cannot be further from the truth.
A men’s group is a new-age meetup where men, around 5 to 10, gather in person or online to talk about everyday stuff affecting men at a deeper level, as Kevin explain.
“He kicks it off by saying okay, we’re gonna go around the room, and everyone gets 10 minutes just to tell me what’s on your mind and what’s going on. There’s none of this like bullshit-well I took my kids out, no- it is about what is hitting you at a deeper level that you are struggling with.”
It is a safe space where men can be open and vulnerable
A men’s group is an open, safe space where men are allowed to be vulnerable. While sitting out the sharing part of the meeting is optional, the moderator encourages members to open up and be vulnerable to find support and healing from the group.
“Everybody has something they are struggling with, like my spouse did this, or it can be a slew of different things. Like now, for me, it’s my mom dealing with cancer, and that is what I got into.”
Lack of understanding is one of the most common reasons that cause men to shy away from sharing their troubles, thoughts, and fears.
In a men’s group, you are often surrounded by your peers. These are people who share things in common, from similar situations to similar interests. This gives you a sense of belonging, and reminds you that you are not alone while making it easier to open up since you know the people around you can relate and understand.
“They put you in a group of like peers that when you look around the room, you are kind in a similar stage in life, and you have these really deep conversations.”
“You realize instantly, like so many people actually struggle with the same things that I struggle with every single day in my head, which is nice. It is refreshing.”
It is a supportive community
Men often shy away from sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings because they feel that no one will ever understand or that it is impossible to get the kind of support they need to heal from whatever hurt they are going through.
A men’s group is a supportive community that offers this and much more.
“I had never really thought of doing that, and it was a beautiful thing, and members are supportive.”
One thing that makes men’s groups highly supportive communities is the ability and willingness of members to offer support and even advice over any given issue they can relate to. You can comment about how one person’s experience shapes your thinking while remaining supportive of the member sharing.
“You can say general supportive things like-I thought you were really courageous for saying that. Thank you for sharing that.”
Men’s groups are confidential support forums
Another aspect that hinders men from sharing or joining men’s groups is the fear that some of the issues they share may not be held in confidence. The best men’s groups, like Mensgroup.com, have a code of ethics where everything said during the sessions remains in the room. Kevin Rose confirms this.
“There is 100% like what happens in this room stays in this room. We are talking about topics that people maybe haven’t disclosed to even their closest friends or partners.”
“There are all kinds of issues that came up where I was like, I cannot believe we are talking about that. It’s nice to know that other men are struggling with this stuff. That was fantastic.”
Men’s groups can help men find healing
In the traditional gender roles set up, men will usually meet over beer and games and talk about general everyday things. The conversations are usually around very generic everyday stuff like how work was or how the wife and kids are. Rarely will men open up about deeper topics in a social setting, hindering them from finding healing.
In a men’s group, men get permission to be less superficial and more vulnerable with their thoughts and fears. Kevin Rose says that he found it easy to share his greatest fear, losing his mom to cancer.
“In my group, I was like, my mom had her cancer return. I am going to miss her when she is gone. I will miss the feeling of my head on her shoulder. Stuff that is just so deep and intimate to me. You don’t get that over a beer. To be able to go and see other men around the table doing the same thing because we all, at that point, have set the ground rules. It is a safe space. We can really let it all out.”
“The release gives me permission to let that stuff go. It is a special thing when you can do it because it is so healthy.”
If you are a man going through just about anything, you can always find other guys who can relate. Here’s another example from one of our men’s groups:
Mensgroup is one of the leading men’s groups online. Like Kevin Rose, you too can be sure that there is a room with people just like you waiting to offer support and help you find healing.