Becoming the Kind Father: A Son’s Journey by Calvin Sandborn

Maybe you grew up with a dad that told you to toughen up, or maybe you’re a father yourself. Maybe you are a woman growing up with an angry father and you never knew why he lashed out at you most of your life. Whatever the case, this book will help you learn why fathers acted a certain way while raising you and how to break the cycle of passing down negative qualities to their children. 


In Becoming the Kind Father, Calvin Sandborn wants to break that cycle of fathers teaching their sons to be a “manly man” and to not show their emotions. Calvin describes his personal childhood story which talks about his father’s anger issues and alcohol addictions. After his father died at a young age and Calvin’s marriage failed, he analyzed what could be the root problems of the issues in his life. After researching this topic and doing a lot of self-work, Calvin discovers helpful ways on how to break the cycle of fathers passing on their issues to their kids. 

In his book, he lists some ways on how men can become the “kind father”. Such as: 

  • Breaking the anger issues
  • Making deep connections males you can trust
  • Forgiving everyone around you and also yourself
  • Identifying feelings you may be feeling and talk about those feelings 
  • Remember that your kids are always learning from you

In summary, Calvin is telling his readers that they have the power to change themselves. He gives them advice and steps on how to do so in this book. 

Calvin Sandborn

About the Author 

Not only is Calvin Sandborn a journalist, author, and environmental lawyer who currently supervises the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic, he is also a dad and grandpa. 

Calvin describes his childhood in the book and it wasn’t a walk in the park. He was brought up by fearing his dad because of his father putting him down and his father having anger issues. He found himself becoming an angry person later in life and resented his father. Through researching and reflection, he found how to break his habits he learned from his dad.

Who Could Benefit From Reading This Book?

Everyone can potentially benefit from reading this book. Men, women, transgender, gender-neutral could all benefit. Even if you aren’t a father or a parent at all. If you get frustrated about little things in life, pick this book up. It might change your perspective and give you helpful hints on how to navigate those feelings. 

How Mensgroup Can Help

In our mens groups, we often talk about our relationships with our fathers and how they could potentially affect our lives negatively or positively. Our Men’s Group meeting can help you open up and talk about topics such as this. Hearing that other guys could be going through something similar can feel comforting. If you are interested in joining our mens groups, visit our website for more info.