Why Men Are Having Trouble Dating and What Can Be Done

According to a Pew Research finding, as of 2022, up to 30% of adults in America are neither engaged in a serious relationship, living with a significant other, or married. As of March 2023, findings show that up to 63% of men under 30 are single, higher than numbers in 2019 that stood at 51%. What is the root cause?


“A whopping 63% of men. What explains that?”

These numbers show that the number of single men is almost double that of single women, an indication of a breakdown in the romantic, sexual, and social lives of American men.

Making connections in a digital age

With technological advancements, it would be easy to assume that making connections would be easier. Even with tens of online dating apps and more ways that you can count on meeting new people, the opposite is true.

The modern-day culture of convenience has made dating harder for men. This is because they are forced into a highly competitive, superficial dating environment more interested in instant gratification than creating lasting human connections.

“The Hill report said, men in their twenties are more likely than women in their twenties to be romantically uninvolved, sexually dormant, friendless and lonely. “

While it may be easier for men to date with technological convenience, the same technology is responsible for the counterintuitive situation that has led many men into developing a negative attitude towards relationships. Instead, men have been found to rely more on social media and online porn to find sexual satisfaction and make human connections.


Thanks to social media, men can scroll through hundreds of pages to view beautiful women in a sitting. In return, most women are forced to commercialize themselves and only show their best sides, creating a false idea of what an ideal life partner should look like.

Pornography also damages the dating dynamic. This is because it alters a man’s mental reward system by turning them more into their carnal nature, where physical and sexual satisfaction outweighs building a connection that runs deeper than just sexual attraction.

Forty million American adults visit porn sites regularly, with 10% admitting to being addicted to pornography. Research further shows that 67% of boys aged 13 have viewed at least one porn image online in the last year. The number rises to 90% by the age of 18.

Pornography gives men a flawed perspective of what an ideal relationship should be. In pornography, the digital partner does nothing but work to please the partner, giving them exactly what they think they need. If one partner fails to keep the viewer engaged, the man can switch to a new partner at the click of a button.

With the ability to have even the wildest sexual desires met online, men find it completely tedious to date, flirt, or even put effort into finding a real connection with women outside the internet world.

Yet, men are more likely to engage in risky behavior without a stable human relationship. Studies show that men are more likely to get involved in crime, social unrest, substance abuse, and even suicide due to loneliness.

The numbers showing the breakdown of the dating pool prove that this pattern is detrimental to society and the lives of men. However, this issue can be fixed if men rely less on porn, prioritize having real relationships, and try talking to girls in real life.

If you are a man interested in becoming better at dating and relationships, Mensgroup is an active, online men’s support group where men meet to talk about matters related to men, including dating.